Big 12 Ranking/Hating

I have pretty much abandoned comparing the stat lines of OSU to our opponents, mostly because Sam/Cincy/Royal do a great job of that, mine had become footballs "too much information", but I missed the opportunity to discuss hate our fellow Big 12-2 members. And, since I suck at writing, it was taking me like 3 hours each, and my school load was cutting into my football knowledge time. However, I noticed that while CRFF has a Blog poll top 25, a Big 12 running back top 12, and even a Big 12 punter top 12, we didn't have a power rankings of sort, so I decided to give it a try. So, as always let me know why I'm wrong, and more importantly why I should care I'm wrong (which I still wont).



"Mike Leach could have beaten Kendall Hunter"


1) Oklahoma (2-0, 6-0)

Well, I really wanted to find a reason to bump them to 2, but I can't. FSU is a good team, Air Force is okay, and Cincy is pretty bad but it was on the road. Basically, it came down to I believed that Air Force would beat WSU, FSU would slaughter ULL, and Cincy and Troy would be a hell of a game. However, I can't leave this without some hate. OU is number one in the BCS, and yet the whine and bitch and moan about how "ESPN hates us, its soooo unfair." "Bu bu bu bu but we're OU, why do they hate us." "ESPN just loves the SEC." No, actually, ESPN loves conferences that win national championship games, not jerk off's who get beat down in BCS bowls. Boo hoo, Oklahoma, stop getting reamed at the end of the year, and maybe ESPN will love you again.

2) Oklahoma State (2-0, 6-0)

Its been a good year for God's chosen people. We survived A&M and Troy, crushed the shit out of WSU and Tulsa, exercised the demons against Tech, and dropped some cajuns (and hopefully got some gator tail). Now, hopefully we can crush some corn this weekend. If gooner fans think we are loving life now, see what happens if we beat the dirty huskers (a great euphemism for jerking off).

3) Missouri (2-0, 6-0)

Could mizzou be 2nd? Sure, but they played McNeese State. And, I'm a homer. What of it Missouri? Thats what I thought. But, if they beat OU this weekend, they may earn 2nd (since we would then be 1st). Now, I want everyone to remember why we should all hate Missouri- Chase Daniels, the single biggest baby to ever play college football. And, if anybody else went to the game in Columbia in 2008, you experienced the single worst fan base in the entire conference. 

4) Texas (2-1, 4-2)

Well, for a time it looked like the Longhorns we spiraling, and now their season is back on track. A few lucky breaks (have OU lose a couple times) and they could back door their way into the Big 12 CG (and we know people in Texas like to use their back door). Even though Nebraska still has a better record, Texas beat them at home and spawned the single greatest quote ever. I give you, Nebraska heartbreak

"My grandfather gave me some advice on fights: if you see you cannot win them, run like a motherfucker. That's basically what happened with us, Texas, and the Big Ten move." 

Than you, I enjoyed that. Which brings us to...

5) Nebraska (1-1, 5-1)

Well, they are for sure Texas' bitch. Now, if only they can be our bitch. They are fairly confident they will shut down Weeden and the passing game. I guess we will see, but I must remind them, stopping our passing game requires stopping our running game, which requires 7 or 8 men. So, shucker fans, do you think you can stop Blackmon and Cooper one on one? We will see.

More after da jump

6) Baylor (2-1, 5-2)

Baylor fan 1 "Hey man, guess what!"

Baylor fan 2 "What, you have weed?"

BF1 "Well, actually yeah, but thats not it. We're 6th in the Big 12 and one game away from a bowl game"

BF2 "No fucking way, thats awesome. Now, how bout we roll a spliff and hit the taco bell"

Yes, thats right folks, Baylor is one game away from a bowl, but looking ahead at there schedule, that might be tough. Baylor's remaining games are as follows; vs Kansas State, @ Texas, @ OSU, vs A&M, vs OU. Thats going to be tough. Good luck bears, you need this (before the NCAA drops afucking atom bomb on your basketball program, again).

7) Kansas State (2-1, 5-1)

Yeah, they have a better record than Baylor, and yeah, that loss was to the 5th ranked team, but shit that loss was bad. But, they regrouped well, and beat the ever loving shit out of KU. This weekend will settle the Baylor vs KSU debate though. It's kinda funny though, Baptist vs Wild Cats, (the joke would be great if they were the lions).

8) Iowa State (1-2, 3-4)

Well, what can you say? They outlasted Tech, but looked terrible against Iowa, Utah, and OU. I guess Paul Rhodes hasn't been handing out too many lunch pail's on defense recently. Either way, perhaps they can recover, with games against Colorado and Kansas up coming (but they also have games against Texas, Nebraska, and Missouri left, so 5-7 is a probably result).

9) Texas Tech (1-3, 3-3)

Man, this season is bullshit. If they had Mike Leach still they would be undefeated, with 6 straight shutouts. I still can't believe they fired Leach, after winning 5 straight National Championship games, and not losing for 6 straight years. Oh wait, he didn't. He didn't win a Big 12 championship, he didn't win a BCS bowl, and he was a dick. Please Tech fans, get over it. And, I am sorry, but wearing/ painting pink is a tradition y'all can keep. I believe y'all stole that the Castro district.

10) Colorado (0-2, 3-3)

I only have one question: How the fuck does Dan Hawkings have a job? Really? He is almost the worst coach in the Big 12 (that dubious honor belongs to Turner Gill). Looking at their schedule, there is a solid chance they only win one more game this year (against Kansas, and even that's not guaranteed).

11) Texas A&M (0-2, 3-3)

How they hell is A&M 11th? They have the best wide receivers, the best running backs, and Heisman frontrunner at quarterback, and the strongest defense in the conference. I blame Jerrod Johnson's hurt arm, and obviously bias officiating against them. With all their talent, its is fucking impossible for A&M to not be undefeated. They are the best team in the conference and have superior talent to every team they face. I guess we will all be sorry when they back up and start winning SEC championships. 

12) Kansas (0-2, 2-4)

Turner Gill must have sacrificed a small child to beat Georgia Tech. They are a wreck, they don't even look like a division 1 football team. Congratulations KU, you're the worst team in America. But its okay, football season is over in Lawrence, basketball season officially started last Saturday.

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