"Gundy is 43, and he's ready for some rankings. Cause if anybody else does it, its garbage"
Yes friends, it's that time again. I keep writing, nobody keeps reading, but I'm gonna rank the teams. First, great win by the Pokes this weekend, biggest win of Mike Gundy's career so far. But, enough of that, on to the hate. Oh, and the language gets a bit rough in this one. With the second coming of OSUsenior and Cozmo23 getting official, I figured I had to step my game up.
1: Oklahoma State (5-1, 9-1)
This team is a thing of beauty. We are witnessing some biblical shit this season, it doesn't matter the challenge, we whip its ass. Nebraska got lucky, and they know it. THEY KNOW IT! They don't want a rematch, they can't handle this. Taylor Marteniz, he's a fucking joke, and he knows it. He had one game where we missed 33 tackles and made him look good. Well Kansas made him look like shit- KANSAS! Now, all we have to do, is keep on keepin on, and get our rematch with the Big 10ers in Arlington. I can't wait.
2: Nebraska (5-1, 9-1)
How did you lose to Texas? Really? Just for that your number 2 now. And Kansas made you look foolish, how? Well, lets look at how. Against KU, Marteniz went 14/26 for 167 yards and 1 int. Helu had 18 carries for 85 yards and 1 score. If the Huskers bring that weak ass shit to Arlington, we roll em by 30. So enjoy your game this weekend, and prepare for Von Miller "cramping" every 3rd offensive play.
3: Oklahoma (4-2, 8-2)
First off, I'm happy as hell we have OU at home this year. They suck dick on the road, but are still good at home. It's like a woman who's a bitch when you're out in public, but nice when your at home. Except Bob Stoops is always a bitch. Whats that smell? Is it fear? Or is it bullshit? Cause when its coming from Norman you can't tell the difference. My prediction, Baylor beats some gooner ass this weekend. Thats right, I said it. So get you some Bears, and make everyone else in this conference happy to see those bastards lose again. (side note: the bears will actually lose, cause they're baylor)
4: Missouri (4-2, 8-2)
Mizzou, seriously, you beat the number 1 team then drop 2 straight? What the fuck? Oh, wait, I'll tell you. Missouri football is the biggest choke job in the history of college football. And, they some dirty rats, trying to run off to the Big 10. Guess what? The Big 10 doesn't want you. Cause you suck. And you lost to Tech. Nuff said.
5: Texas A&M (4-2, 7-3)
I hear all this bullshit talk about the Ag's backdooring their way into the Big 12 CG. And its bullshit, they can't hang. The only thing A&Mer's can backdoor is some sheep. But it doesn't matter, they'll lose this weekend and any shot they had with it. Maybe if they didn't shit the bed against Misery I would think more of them, but they did so I don't. And Tannehill is due for a 3 int game, and I suspect that he's been saving it for this weekend against Nebraska.
6: Baylor (4-3, 7-4)
Team of destiny my ass. The only thing Baylor football is destined to do is lose. Enjoy your bowl bear fans, it will probably be your last for about another 20 years.
7: Kansas State (3-4, 6-4)
Well, I thought these wildcats would get a better bowl than the fucking pinstripe piece of shit in New York, but they are rapidly proving me wrong. We have 8 bowl tie in's but will probably only fill 7, so congrats KSU, you were just good enough, but still suck. Good thing your bowl eligible now.
8: Iowa State (3-4, 5-6)
First off, HOLY SHIT, YOU LOST TO FUCKING COLORADO- COLORADO FOR CHRIST SAKE!! HOW, HOW CAN YOU SUCK SO BAD?? KANSAS CAME BACK FROM A 4000 POINT DEFICIT IN LIKE 6 MINUTES!! AND YOU LOST!! But seriously, thats got to be the worst loss of the year in the Big 12. CU just fired their head coach, and you still lost, bad. Oh well, after Missouri whips your ass this weekend the year is over, no post season. (side note: I'm still pissed at Clone Chronicles for their disrespect, so I love this, alot)
9: Texas Tech (3-5, 5-5)
Will Tech go bowling? With games left against Weber St and Houston, the better, or they really really suck. I don't know if the Pale Rider can get them to a bowl, let alone win one, but if he can- It's still not very impressive, they lost to Texas, which brings us to...
10: Texas (2-5, 4-6)
Here's looking at you, Nebraska and Tech. You both had UT at home, and you both lost. Good job assholes. Will UT get to a bowl this year? I say no, I think A&M will wax that ass. But the bigger story is, how the hell did they make it to the national championship game last year, and fall so damn far. Really, nobody has, in the history of college football (according to ESPN) sucked so much dick the year after appearing in the NCG. Guess losing Colt wasn't their only problem. So Texas, welcome to the bottom 1/4 of the conference. Right where Phil Steele predicted OSU would be. (another side note: Phil Steele is a prick, and I hate him. Oh, and he picked OU to win the NC. What a clown)
11: Colorado (1-5, 4-6)
Good job Buff's, I thought you were going to let Kansas take over 11th. Just a temporary move, now life is back to normal. But, taps must be played for The Hawk.
12: Kansas (1-5, 3-7)
Any KU fans want Mangino the Hutt back yet? I saw his large ass at the OU game this weekend. They had to make sure he stood in the middle to keep the stadium level. Satellites had to change orbit to avoid the extra gravity. That was mean, and I dont care. Kansas is so bad that they must accept it.
Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma State vs TCU (I keep going back and forth between TCU and Boise, basically whoever doesn't go to the rose bowl)
Cotton Bowl: Nebraska vs LSU
Alamo Bowl: Texas A&M vs Arizona
Insight Bowl: Missouri vs Iowa
Holiday Bowl: Oklahoma vs Cal (pac 10 blows this year)
Texas Bowl: Baylor vs Michigan
New Era Pinstripe Bowl: Kansas State vs Louisville
TicketCity Bowl: Texas Tech vs Penn State
There ya go. Tell me why I'm a dick (I enjoy it)