FanPost

Dez Bryant and his $800,000 Worth of Jewels? Let's look at some facts:

Dez Bryant's recent display of monetary excess has some of us thinking; How can Dez spend that much on something so frivolous? Well, the speculation is that Mr. Bryant does it through a combination of being surrounded by miscreants, a daily diet of being told how great he is, a constant need to reinforce that greatness through material gestures, and maybe not being all that mature to begin with. 

On the other side of the jump is $800,000 through the eyes of Soviet Russia..

In Soviet Russia:

Yachoff once swallowed 86 Rubles worth of pewter to keep it from the KGB oppressors.

Yachoff once ran into burning building to save his only pair of generic Turkish blue jeans. What a country!

Psychological Perspective:

  • Buying a Rolex when you come into money and influence = materialistic, but probably still within normal, well-adjusted, personal boundaries.
  • Acquiring $200,000 worth of jewels from one store, not paying for them, then acquiring $588,000 of jewels from another store and again not making any effort to secure payment = I love money so much I need to wear it on my arms and neck and legs and genitals in mineral form even if I can't quite cover the price at the moment =

    Lindsay_lohan-150x150_medium

What kinds of goods and services would this type of money procure?

$25 = A really nice leather belt from Dillard's

$120 = Enough money to have kept Yachoff's grandma from the Gulag.

$10,000 = Enough money to have kept Yachoff's entire family warm and fed for 6 generations.

$200,000 =  A really nice yacht, a 2012 Porsche Carrera, more money than an OU fan will ever see in their entire life.
$600,000 =  A mansion pretty much anywhere, a 2012 Ferarri Enzo, a work of art by Roy Lichtenstein

Dez needs help. Not just financially, but spiritually.  Will a $1500 Rolex feed your soul? No.  Will a $150,000 automobile help a man realize his full potential? Hell, no.  Would 86 rubles worth of pewter have saved Yachoff's grandma? Probably, but there can be no way to tell.  Dez needs to first pay off the jewels his old apartment in Stillwater, then the jewels, then get back to what got him here, being really top notch at catching and then running with footballs.  The best of luck to you, Dez. Go OSU and Dallas Cowboys!

In This FanPost

Teams
Players
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Cowboys Ride For Free

You must be a member of Cowboys Ride For Free to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cowboys Ride For Free. You should read them.

Join Cowboys Ride For Free

You must be a member of Cowboys Ride For Free to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cowboys Ride For Free. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker