Tulsa, OK.- Former OSU football player R.W. McQuarters has been shot by a masked man in front of friend's home. He is fine and was able to drive himself to the hospital, most likely jukeing and weaving traffic in the same manner he used to return kicks for the Cowboys. The masked man was no doubt a Sooner fan, and will in time be caught and prosecuted so he can be molested by another, bigger, Sooner fan in jail. Protocol states that; he who can take a bullet then drive themselves to have it removed earns automatic street cred for life. R.W. also played for Eddie Sutton's 96-97' Cowboy Basketball team. Here is to a speedy recovery, R.W.