Did you miss the first three in the cheating series?
Are you ready for this? Great stuff up for this week. My God, if cheating was art these are some Michaelangelos. Sine we are official entering the top 10 I spent a lot of time on this one, and it's a beast, coming in around 3600 words. I truly hope you have enjoyed this as much as I have, but we're not done yet. One more week of cheaters awaits, but these 6 are no slouches. Let's start things off by pissing on UGA VIII's grave, shall we?
11: University of Georgia- 6 Major Infractions
Yeah, so I lied, there are 2 programs who cheated so much and so hard I couldn’t determine who was worse, but then discovered that one had another infraction, which gave them the nod. On to the University of Georgia, who has 6 major infractions resulting in a total of 9 years of probation. First up in 1978 both basketball and football were busted for improper transportation and give a slap on the wrist. In ’82 UGA had a recruiting problem (too much contact, alas no hookers) which resulted in a year of probation, reduction of scholarships, and a show cause penalty for two assistants. In ’85 there was more recruiting trouble, this time in basketball. Another year of probation, another reduction in scholarships, and this time 3 assistants were barred from recruiting (no show cause though). In both of these cases it seems the biggest problems were that the assistants lied to the NCAA (they really hate that), and that the coaches drove recruits around town. In 1997 it was the football teams turn again, after a booster paid for a walk on’s tuition, a runner obtained high school transcripts for the coaches, and they gave money and food to the hungry recruits (the NCAA hates that as well, if they could they would give the Christian Children’s Fund the death penalty, waaaay too many free meals). Lost some scholarships, gained two years of probation. Finally we cycle back to basketball for the final infraction, occurring in 2004. This one is funny to me, because a son totally dicked his father over. UGA head coach Jim Harrick hired his son Jim Harrick Jr as an assistant. While an assistant Junior wired money to a recruit (wire fraud, on top of NCAA stuff) and taught a class "Coaching Principles and Strategies of Basketball" and gave three top players A’s, even though they never attended class (the biggest give away was that it was a 6 hour class, dumbass). This resulted in a show cause penalty of eight years for JR, and caused UGA to not renew daddy’s contract. They also vacated a couple seasons, lost some scholarships, and received 4 years of probation. For those Bulldog fans who like to point out how dirty other programs are, theres a saying about stones and glass houses that I believe is applicable here. Now then, time for some real cheating, lets go after the jump.
10: University of Kentucky- 6 Major Infractions
Ah the Wildcats. One of only five schools to have been given the Death Penalty (and in the first year it was available, quite a head start). Kentucky is no stranger to the NCAA infractions committee, having gone before them 6 times, but apparently has no fear of them, as they have recently hired John "yeah, I will have final 4’s vacated and go to another school cause I just don’t give a fuck, I’m italian bitch" Calipari as their head coach (longest nickname in sports). Anyway, Kentucky came out of the gates swinging, becoming the first school to be given the death penalty (for basketball). Let me set the stage for you, it’s 1948, Hitler is dead, and the good ole U.S.A. is riding high, having just beating the dog shit out of two countries at once, and Kentucky basketball is on it’s way to winning it’s second straight national title. On the way players Alex Groza, Ralph Beard, and Dale Barnstable decided that while amateur sports are cool and all, being paid would be even better, so they accepted about $1500 in bribes to shave a few points. They shaved so many that the Wildcats lost their NIT game against Loyola-Chicago (back then a team could double dip and play both tourneys) in which they were favored by 10 points. No biggie, UK wins the title, they all go to the NBA. Life is great, now their being paid legit, and no one is any the wiser. But, oh shit, turns out the FBI was actually the wiser, and in 1951 they 3 players were arrested. In 1952 all 3 players were convicted and sentenced to probation and suspended sentences, guess they got away with it, except for 2 little facts. First, they were all banned from the NBA for life. Ouch. Second, they were banned from ever coaching at any school associated with the NCAA, ever. Damn. As a result of the investigation it was determined that UK knew about the point shaving (but allowed the players to play anyway), and that they were paying their players as well. Kentucky was forced to miss the entire 52-53 season, and then moved on with life. Whew, that was a biggie. In 1964 UK was busted for out of season practices, and placed on one year probation. Next, it was the football teams turn, and in 1976 the hammer came down on UK football. You should be excited, cause UK was hooking up recruits with: money, houses, race horses (it is Kentucky) airfare, transportation, a car, more money, sent tractors to a recruits fathers business so he could sell em, gambling tickets, movie tickets, shoes, shirts, and and and HOOKERS! YES WE HAVE HOOKERS! WHOOO. Sorry, but damn I love me some hookers. Kentucky was placed on two years probation, and lost a year of postseason and a year of TV. UK basketball had a little thing in 1988 but got no real penalties, just compliance reports. In 1989 UK basketball got smacked like bitches when if was discovered they were paying players, had forged an entrance exam (our good old friend, academic fraud), provided improper lodging and certified players they knew were ineligible. This resulted in a one year TV ban, a two year postseason ban, and 3 years probation. Another little slip up in the mid 90’s that got another year of probation leads us directly into 2002, when the football team once again tried to catch up to the basketball program. Holy shit, 625 words about UK alone and I’m not done. Let’s just get through this. This is one of the first cases of a recruiting coordinator getting in trouble (but he was just doing his job) while providing money, lodging expenses, and he falsified student records. UK did it’s part by paying him over $7000 extra a month for "expenses" that were never documented. And they had another 50 plus secondary violations. Penalties you ask? One year postseason ban and 3 years probation. There, done with the Wildcats, fucking finally.
9: Wichita State University- 7 Major Infractions
Welcome the Cheating Hall of Fame, the schools with 7 or more infractions. We start our jaunt into greatness with the Wichita State Shockers, who prove you don’t need no stinkin football program to cheat with the best of em. The Shockers have stared down the barrel of the infractions committee 7 times, starting back in 1956. That year their mens basketball program was busted for transporting recruits from their home to the campus, resulting in a public reprimand. Weak. On to 1958, where the football team (yup, they had a football team for a while) was found to have paid players. Money was funneled to the players through the Downtown Quarterback Club of Wichita, resulting in around $10,000 in cash and tuition payments. Now, usually this gets a team a pimp hand from the NCAA, but someone associated with WSU took a shot in the mouth and they only received one year of probation. In 1963 the basketball team used a professional talent scout, received another public reprimand. Again, weak. Finally, in 1968 WSU popped it’s cheating cherry legitimately. It was determined that the football coach and several of his assistants provided cash, airfare for vacations, clothes, lodging, and improper entertainment (no hookers, just movies). All of these violations and another 23 secondary violations resulted in a 3 year TV ban, a two year postseason ban, and two years of probation. Shocking. Now that their toes are wet the basketball team decided to get some. In 1974 the bball team was busted for improper financial aid, improper recruiting (another scout), improper transportation (drove a kid to his summer job), and academic fraud (falsified a high school transcript for a kid). All of this added up to a two year TV ban, postseason ban, and probation extension. The basketball team was back at it in 1982 when it was determined they provided improper entertainment, extra financial aid, transportation to tryouts and illegal inducements, unethical conduct, and they falsified a certificate of compliance. Another one year postseason ban, 3 more years probation, and reduction of scholarships for two years. Finally the football team had a last ride of sorts in 1983 going out with improper recruit contact, entertainment, exceeding coaching staff limits, unethical conduct, and falsified a certificate of compliance. Another triple double (2 years tv and postseason ban and 2 years probation) and the beginning of the end for Shocker football, as the university dropped the sport in 1986.
8:University of Wisconsin- 7 Major Infractions
13 years of probation, a year each of postseason and TV bans, and 7 conference titles. See kids, cheating does pay (sorta). The University of Wisconsin has a storied history of cheating, beginning in 1982 with a teeny recruiting violation by the football team resulting in a year of probation. Also in 82 another teeny recruit transport issue resulted in a public reprimand. Fast forward one year, to 1983. Once again the Badger football team is in trouble for recruiting (hired a talent scout, provided transportation) but now they are a repeat offender (a teeny major infraction is still a major infraction). This time they received another year of probation, a one year TV ban, and a show cause penalty for an assistant. Also, the tennis team was banned from recruiting in the summer due to off season tryouts. We’re getting warmer, but there has to be better. In 1986 the basketball team grew tired of waiting on the football team to fuck up again and took it upon itself to cause some trouble. They were giving extra benefits (paying a players off campus rent) and were falsifying certifications of compliance. They had to vacate some wins, develop a compliance program, and were placed on two years probation. Its official, with 4 major infractions in 1 decade, Wisconsin was the cheatingest team of the 1980’s (and had some major competition). In 1994 the wrestling team got their piece, when a former player turned NCAA rat alerted the federales that a wrestling club was paying for all transportation, paying the players for wins, holding excessive tryouts, sending redshirt players to competitions, and using ineligible players. Leave it to the wrestling team to take it over the top, Stalone style. The fallout from all this was the dreaded lack of institutional control, a reduction of scholarships for 3 years, a reduction of recruiting contact, a one year postseason ban, two years of probation, and no official visits for one year. In 1999 it was discovered that the entire athletic department was cheating it’s tiny balls right off. Half the staff was receiving money from boosters, and were allowing the universities name to be used to endorse products in exchange for money and cars. The athletic department also sponsored a youth athletic club. This resulted in two years of probation and annual reports be made to the NCAA. We wrap up the Badgers cheating with the football program in 2001, and it’s a good one. At this point, the NCAA was pissed off with the Badgers (but like their cousin the nastyass honey badger, they don’t give a shit) after the infractions in 94 and 99, and prepared the guillotine. Like almost every evil in this world, it started with a shoe store owner, who (beginning in 1993) was giving athletes, coaches, recruits, athletic department members (and everyones families) discounts not available to the public (big no-no). The shoe store also allowed them to exchange signed gear to credit at the store (super big no-no). In the end, Wisconsin managed to avoid LOIC and were instead given failure to monitor, reduction in both football and basketball scholarships, ordered to repay $150,000 to the NCAA, and a show cause action on the booster. Now, whats funny about all this, in 94, 99, and 2000 (all the years they were busted) the Badger football team won the conference. Also, they made Barry Alvarez (the coach during all that) the athletic director. So has Wisconsin stopped cheating? Fuck no, but Alvarez is better at hiding it.
7: Texas A&M University- 7 Major Infractions
Ah, the Texas A&M Aggies, who, at every position in every sport, have the single greatest collection of talent the world has ever seen. With talent such as this you wouldn’t think the Ag’s would feel the need to cheat. Wrong. They have cheated their way all the way to number 7 with 7 major infractions (good symmetry there). Kicking things off was a basketball recruiting violation in 1957. Minor stuff really, illegal tryouts and excessive entertainment (though I think counting sheep fucking as entertainment is really pushing it, but hey, it’s Texas). A&M fired the coach, took a one year postseason ban as well as a year of probation. Moving along to 1966 the football team got in on the mix, some out of season practice and improper administration of financial aid. How does one improperly administer financial aid? Well, you give scholarships to kids on your team who suck to leave the team. Yup, basically a severance package. Oh and these improper tryouts are really inventive. They created a class called Physical Education 317, which normally had an enrollment of 25. Well, in the fall of 65 it had 128. Then they were divided by position. No way that gets caught, ever. Survey says- One year postseason ban and one year probation. Football was at it again in 1969 for some improper recruiting inducements, resulting in a public reprimand. Time to cycle back to the basketball team for the 1977 season, when some booster paid some recruits and players. On year probation and a show cause penalty for about 6 boosters. 1988 was footballs turn again, going for the gold in total violations. We have (in order): improper employment, entertainment, financial aid and lodging; extra benefits; out-of-season practice; complimentary tickets; improper recruiting contacts, entertainment, inducements and publicity; eligibility; unethical conduct and lack of institutional control. For example (this is the best one) an assistant coach parker a Datsun 280ZX in front of a recruits house and told the father it was his if his son signed to play for the Ag’s. He didn’t (cause it was a Datsun for shit sake). Leave it to A&M to get busted with a Datsun. They also Godfather’d one recruit, offering to pay his cancer stricken fathers medical bills and give him treatment if he signed. For all this Aggie lost some scholarships, got a one year postseason ban, two years of probation, had the coach put on probation, and had four boosters permanently banned. Now back to basketball (I swear, only A&M could get on a schedule of major infractions) again, and like football a few years before, this was a pretty big deal. Basically they copied (almost exactly) the violations of the football team 3 years before them, and the penalty was the same: one year postseason ban and two years of probation, as well as repeat offender status. Finally we have, yup you guessed it, football getting the 7th and final major violation (til the Jerrod Johnson tell all comes out late this year). It’s important to note, as I said above, the Aggies were considered repeat violators, and still on probation, when it was discovered they had paid nine players $17,500. I believe the NCAA report went like this: "And lo, the NCAA awaketh, for thou hath line stepped for the final time, we shall strike thee with a glorious vengeance". And strike thee they did, with a one year postseason and TV ban, and five years of probation. Gig em (which, for a team with an Aggie, (whatever the fuck that is) as their mascot, what in the blue hell does gig em have to do with anything? It’s this kind of shit, this is why we all hate you).
6: Auburn University- 7 Major Infractions
This one hurts a bit. Every wonder what the AU in AUKingOState stood for? Yup, Auburn. (Why is my name like that? I made it before CRFF was here but wanted to let people know how I roll. I should fix it, drop the AU. I’ll ask sam about that) Either way, I can’t be selective with my hate dropping, so, as much as it pains me, I’m going eagle hunting. Starting in 1957 the Tigers got rocked for football, paying recruits. This resulted in a 2 year TV and postseason ban as well as 3 years of probation. Auburn was naughty again in 1958, again for paying recruits, getting the first triple triple ( 3 years each of TV ban, postseason ban, and probation) added to the previous years penalties. I would really love to tell you all more, but the 1957 public report takes you to a University of Wichita page and the 1958 public report doesn’t exist at the NCAA’s website. And, as you may have guessed, the Auburn website doesn’t exactly mention it, but they do mention the fact that in 1957 Auburn won the national championship (suck it H8r’s). Lets move along to 1979, when both the basketball and football teams ran afoul of the NCAA, for once again paying recruits and offering extra benefits (see a pattern here?). A little cash to both players and recruits, a few cars, and some illegal transportation resulted in a one year TV and postseason ban for basketball and a two year TV and postseason ban for football, as well as two years of probation for everybody. Yeah us. In 1980 the football team had another year tacked onto it’s probation for violations stemming from the 1979 case, only discovered late. More cash and cars (it’s really how we roll, bitches). In 1991 basketball was back at it as well as first timer’s mens tennis. I’ll give you one guess as to what the violations are. Go ahead, guess. Hah, you’re wrong. You are thinking "there’s no fucking way they paid players again", and you’re wrong. Indeed, once again improper inducements, excessive contacts, meals for family members, excessive transportation, car loans, and use of automobiles. Same shit, different sport. Tennis had to vacate all wins for the previous season, couldn’t recruit off campus for 3 years, and had a show cause penalty placed on an assistant. Basketball received a one year postseason ban and two years of probation, as well as having coaches salaries frozen and lost some scholarships. These are important violations though, as they set up the biggest black eye in Auburn history, the Pat Dye scandal. Two boosters, one named "Corky" Frost, and Larry Blakeney (if the name sound familiar, it’s because he’s currently the president at the University of Troy. BEAR WOODS BEAR WOODS BEAR WOODS BEAR WOODS. There, it’s out of my system), were paying players (yes, it really is how we roll) when one decided to blackmail the entire University. That player, Eric "Dickhead Fucker" Ramsey taped conversations between himself and coaches when he created a sob story about his pregnant whore and his need for money. They tried to help him out, and he turned them in anyway. This resulted in pushing Pat Dye out the door, and landed them on a one year TV, a two year postseason ban, and two years probation. That postseason ban was especially painful, considering the 1993 squad went undefeated. Where ever you are Eric, fuck you. Finally, in 2004 the basketball team violated the recruiting legislation. If you’re wondering what the hell that means, I’ll try and explain it. A sports agent was to travel to Auburn to attend the ceremony of a former player who was having his number retired. The agent had Auburn pay his way there, and brought along a recruit. Later, a booster paid to have a $700 stereo installed in the recruits car (hey, 18" subwoofers don’t come cheap). Also there was some additional travel expenses and lodging paid for by the booster to send the recruit to North Carolina. Now apparently an assistant coach was the go between for the booster and the recruit. So somehow that was a recruiting legislation violation. The violations resulted in a reduction of scholarships and two years of probation, as well as paving the way for Cliff Ellis to be fired (that and he was kind of a sucky coach).
Wow, that's an amazing amount of cheating, and I'm used to it. By now you're tired of reading my poor writing, so I won't bother you with much of an outro paragraph. Next week we unveil the top 5, as well as some cheating stats and tons of scantily clad women, many of whom's pictures I don't have the rights to (but hey, it's an article about cheating right?) Until next week (or y'all drop some comments, I'm hoping to double last weeks, and have 12) as always,