Tips For Avoiding the Thursday Night Curse

 

Here we are today awaiting tonight's Thursday night matchup against our future Pac-28 brothers, the Arizona Wildcats.  The game is at the comfortable home confines of the Boone, and is against a team we beat handily 9 months ago in the Alamo Bowl.  We have to play against a Stoops, but even 'Zona fans would have to agree that Mike Stoops is the Billy Carter of the Stoops coaching family.  OSU is favored in Vegas by more than two possessions, and seems to have the offensive firepower in spades over Arizona.

For the last two years, OSU has played in high profile, Thursday-night televised ESPN football games.  Both these times, OSU absolutely played like lashed-together dogturds personified, but still won the game.  Or, more accuratelly, OSU played like lashed-together dogturds personified in black uniforms for two quarters, then played well the other two quarters.  Some say the poor performances had something to do with these black uniforms. Yachoff wrote an entire article on this phenomenon.  If Yachoff was a betting man (and he is, to the point of degeneracy), he would predict black uniforms for the Cowboys tonight as well.

This is Thursday night, everyone's watching, and as recent history has shown, anything can happen.  OSU needs to hedge its bet.  It needs some Thursday Night --good luck-- for a change.   The best luck, of course, is the luck you make yourself...

(A few Bet Hedgers after the jump...)

Four ideas for some homebrewed luck:

1.Convince T. Boone Pickens that Lewis Field is last known refuge of the "Lesser Prairie Chicken" and he will dig the field full of holes looking for these little rascals' pelts.  OSU QB Brandon Weeden will know where these holes are located in advance, Arizona QB Nick Foles will not. 

2. Stick pins into the "illness zone" of your Arizona WR Juron Criner voodoo doll.

3. Hang mirrors around the sidelines of the Boone so Mike Stoops can see the ridiculous array of facial expressions he makes, like for example this:

107163567_display_image_medium

via cdn.bleacherreport.net

or, more reflectively, this:

107312295_display_image_medium

via cdn.bleacherreport.net

or, just full-on, drool on your lower lip crazy:

41787_127357388079_8053261_n_medium

via profile.ak.fbcdn.net

Stoops sees his contortions in the Boone mirrors and they mesmerize him into total Cowboy submission, not unlike a modern day Narcissus.

4. Tell the Cowboys that Jenn Brown is waiting for them in the locker room win or lose.  But if they win, Erin Andrews will be there too.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Cowboys Ride For Free

You must be a member of Cowboys Ride For Free to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cowboys Ride For Free. You should read them.

Join Cowboys Ride For Free

You must be a member of Cowboys Ride For Free to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Cowboys Ride For Free. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker