CRFF's BIG 12 PICKS: Week 8, and Sam is depressed.

Brendan Maloney-US PRESSWIRE

This week brings an excellent slate of games, except one (sorry Kansas, but you are NOT Kansas State just because your coach can eat an entire Taco Bell restaurant).

Here comes week 8 of college football, and the Big 12 has dialed up some pretty decent matchups.

First, the picks...then a lot of convoluted and confused rambling to justify them...then the expected crucifixion of us in the comments.

Sam King Royal Whetsell
Baylor @ Texas Texas 30-20 Baylor 42-24 Texas 45-35 Baylor 49-42
Tech @ TCU TCU 27-21 Tech 24-23 Tech 38-35 TCU 31-24
Kansas @ OU OU 55-17 OU 45-3 Kansas 17-16 OU 54-3
KState @ WVa KState 48-30 KState 34-14 WVa 42-35 KState 49-28
Iowa St @ OSU Iowa St 20-17 OSU 24-21 OSU 38-21 OSU 38-24

SAM

Baylor at Texas - I dont know which team wants to lose more (fuck, why didnt we play Texas 2 weeks later?). Im going to pick Texas here just because of the talent gap. 30-20

Tech at TCU - Fuck this game. I could watch these two teams play 200 games each and still not know how good either is (same for the Pokes btw, so fuck them too). I do think Tech has the higher upside so if both teams play at the same level Tech is the better team. For that reason, let's go with the home team. TCU 27-21.

Kansas at OU - Kansas had their chance last week. The Goons wont take them lightly. Sooners roll. 55-17.

Kansas St at WVU - I dont care where this game is by-godd being played, I will take Snyder anywhere. I would follow Bill Snyder into battle against any foe, in any location, with any weapons, practicing any sexual preference. Staters - 48-30

Iowa State at Oklahoma State - Fuck. When you really look at the teams on paper....fuck. I'm taking the Clones. Sorry homers. After 2011 we lost the most talent Stillwater has ever lost in a single season. It takes Michigan and USC and Texas more than one year to reload, we sure as fuck aint doing it. We all were enamored by the schemes and the recruits and the system, and those things arent terrible, but they arent magic either. 2011 was the pinnacle of talent in Stillwater. Maybe 2014 will be close to that, but until then we are rebuilding. Iowa State wins on a forced fumble in Cowboy territory, then they run 4 minutes of clock before kicking the game winning 19 yard field goal. Clones 20-17.

KING

Baylor at Texas- I'm not a believer in Baylor, especially after getting worked by TCU, but Texas is in kamikaze mode (except instead of crashing into a battleship, they're putting em in a cow pasture). Texas could, hell should, win, but I think they're going to finish off Mack Brown this year, and it starts with a loss to Baylor. Bears get their claws out (or up, or whatever the fuck they do), and win, 42-24

Texas Tech at TCU- I'm going to make a huge mistake, and believe in Tech. I've been keeping them like 7th in the power poll, but after working WVU, I'm on the Herp train. TCU looked good putting away Baylor, but Tech has a defense, something Baylor has yet to discover. Tech wins, 24-23

Kansas at OU- Goons roll, 45-3.

Kansas State @ WVU- West Virginia is looking to get back on track after getting cockslapped in Lubbock (which almost guarantees an STD), and Kansas State is looking to lock up the conference championship. Seriously, beat West Virginia and who else could slow em down? Tech? Maybe, but I doubt it. Red Bulls shall be drunk, couches shall be burnt, and Wildcats shall win, 34-14.

Iowa State at OSU- How I want to believe that last week was an abomination. I want to believe that the combo of delay and playing at Kansas made us flat. I want to believe our defense could hold anyone competent to 14 points, but I cant. I also don't believe we win this game. ISU has a good defense, and a good defense. What's that? Offense? Paul Rhoads doesn't believe in it. I'm still going to pick us to win, but only because I think ISU offense will lose it for em. Pokes win (Allah be praised) 24-21.

ROYAL

Baylor at Texas: I'm going with Texas because I have to believe that OSU isn't so shitty that even the Bears can beat the Longhorns. 45-35.

Tech at TCU: Taking the Herpes Heroes on this one. I don't think TCU will be able to keep up with them in a scoring battle. Although, TCU's QB is starting to look legit. 38-35.

Kansas at OU: I'm picking Kansas to win because it is delusional and would be absolutely hilarious. 17-16.

K -State at WV: I've got the Couch Burners in this one. I think WV is actually a bit better at stopping the run than the pass. And while Snyder is some sort of old wizard, I don't think he can win a shootout against Holgorsen. 42-35.

ISU at OSU: We will win if Lunt returns (I believe he will). And I also think we are going to see some things on offense that we haven't ever seen before. (*hint hint*) OSU will be up for this game for a lot of reasons. Revenge, homecoming, poor performance against KU, Gundy breaking the all-time win record. OSU rolls 38-21.

WHETSELL

Baylor @ Texas...Ash is saying he'll play. Jeffcoat will definitely not play. Texas just got its collective ass handed to them by OU, and Mack Brown is likely going to be shown the door. This has the makings of an upset...Bears 49, Longhorns 42.

Texas Tech @ TCU...Big 12 schizophrenia reigns supreme. TCU 31, Tech 24.

Kansas @ OU...Sooners will not sleepwalk at home. OU 54, Kansas 3.

Kansas State @ West Virginia...Taco Bell vs Red Bull. Willie the Wildcat jumps off the couch before it bursts into flames. KState 49, WVa 28

Iowa State @ OSU...Lunt starts, 38-24 OSU...Walsh starts, I'm looking the other way...and Lunt might redshirt.

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