Top 5 Lies Told About the OSU Uniforms

Richard Rowe-US PRESSWIRE

The last two years, the only thing snazzier than OSU's offence has been the team's ever-changing uniforms. This year we've seen everything from Grey to two different Pistol Pete helmets to camouflage. What does it all mean? Here are the top five lies told about OSU's new uniforms.

1. If a male critiques the OSU uniforms in any way, for any length of time, either positively or negatively, he will automatically be assumed to be less than a man.

Refusing to speak much on the topic, CRFF has unofficially taken this stance. Actually, it is mostly just Cincy. However, as we are pseudo (unpaid) journalists here at CRFF, we have an obligation to be objective of other viewpoints in matters as important as our multimillion dollar uniform deal with Nike.

The uniforms are a big part of our team now, OSU has joined Oregon as having the most interesting/controversial uniforms in college football, and the way the team is presenting itself to the world deserves due consideration without fear of being called a "fruit smuggler" or possessing less-than-heavy loafers. Some will have you believe that the only way a red-blooded straight man can appreciate fashion is if he is beating off to pictures of Kate Moss. Others will tell you that a man can talk about fashion to placate his wife or his girlfriend, but any mention of what he thinks of the color of the uniform that day to his buddies is information best kept to himself.

Then there are those who say that the old adage is true: 'clothes make the man'. The world of fashion is more than just about really attractive pissed-off looking women, effeminate men, and heroin, it's about looking good. Fashion is important. A man shouldn't be afraid of looking his best, or being proud that his favorite team looks their best, or just talking about how his favorite team looks. Not every OSU fan is on board with how the ever-changing uniforms look, but all fans have a right to speak and be heard, without fear of reprisal. Have the Cowboys always looked their best the last two seasons? That leads us to lie number two:

2. A grey jersey is an acceptable uniform for Oklahoma State.

Did you know that one of OSU's team colors is grey? For the last two seasons, it is. The grey uni's are simply unacceptable. When OSU wears grey at home, they look like the away team from some other school. Did Ohio State just run out of our tunnel? Which OSU is this?

Oklahoma State has brought out grey jerseys only twice in thirteen opportunities and it is easy to understand why. Grey is a fucking boring color. If you take the third most boring color, white, add to it the second most boring color, black, you will get grey, the most boring color. Also, grey is difficult to see. At least the grey jerseys last year against Louisiana-Lafayette had orange numbering. The jerseys on Saturday had black numbering, and the numbers were so invisible they might as well have been in braille.

NCAA rules state that an away jersey must be white unless the other team agrees, in writing, to the visiting teams choice of uniform color. This rule is too bad, because perhaps as an away color grey would be interesting. As a home color for a team that has been invested for decades in ORANGE and sometimes black, the grey is head-scratching at best and just plain ridicustupid at worst.

3. Different combos have effected the team's performance. Black uniforms are "cursed".

OSU has played seven games in black jerseys since 2009. Four of those seven games were close. Colorado in 2009, Texas A&M in 2010, K-State and Stanford in 2011. I wrote an article last year that suggested that maybe the black uniforms were "reversed cursed", but this was just preposterous bullshitting. OSU didn't lose any of those seven games. If anything, the black jerseys are 'blessed'. If you go to this website, you can not only see every uniform combo OSU's had since 1980, but it will also tell you the record of the uniform combos the team has had since last year. OSU would probably go to black uniforms every game if it wasn't so reminiscent of 1994, which if you don't remember, was absolutely cursed.

4. Constantly changing uniforms dilute team identity.

This is the stance that Sooner fans take when they berate our ever-changing team wardrobe. Sooners claim that they, like the Yankees, the Dallas Cowboys, Alabama, and other 'establishment' teams, are better off for having a uniform that is highly recognizable because it has remained the same for a long period of time. Perhaps familiarity is gained by always having the same jersey, but familiarity is boring and predictable. Identity is not always gained by merely being familiar. Identity is about standing out from the crowd.

5. Nike is trying to change OSU's colors, turn Pistol Pete into some sort of vagabond or drifter, and just generally trying to undermine our traditions.

It is one thing to dislike the use of grey, and another to go total conspiracy theory and think that Nike is trying to radically undermine the very fabric of OSU. Nike is only trying to do one thing, and that is to make money. Nike doesn't care about anything other than turning a buck, and they have proven to be one of the best marketed companies of the last 25 years. If Nike thinks that making Pistol Pete a little more "L.A. Raiders" will bring in some extra money, damned if they aren't going to try it. Still, Nike knows that totally phasing out regular Pistol Pete would be disastrous, and the athletic dept. and the fans would never stand for it.

There are purists who think that our uniform should be all orange, all the time, and that Pistol Pete should never change, but let's live a little as a fan base; let's evolve. You don't have to like all the changes, but embrace the thrill of change. Anyway, Pistol Pete has never remained unaltered over his decades of existence, and neither has the color of our uniforms. Onward and upward.

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