As I'm sure everyone knows by know, the 2012 Big 12 football schedule has been released (finally, dicks).Along with that comes speculation as to how the season will shape up. I'm here to answer that. Sure, we don't know who our quarterback will be and we don't know who "the guy" at wide receiver will be, but who cares? In Gundy I Trust (but fuck Bill Young). Along with being stupid early, this will also be stupid short. It's late, I'm tired, and my boss is an ass making me work 12 hour days (like I give a shit the future of the company rides on the project.) Oh wait, damn, now I do.
Savannah State: Win, next.
at Arizona: Win. They will get better, but as we saw at Michigan, it takes RichRod a while to get his players to fit his scheme, and in the meantime he can't adapt to what he has.
Louisiana: Win. As Todd Monken so eloquently put it, they only had one NFL type player last year, but we had Blackmon so fuck them. Also, that player is now gone, and it's at home, and well, they're still ULL to me.
Texas: Win. I know, they're the longhorns, they have the best players
money can buy that can be recruited. Talent so deep 5 stars have to suck dick to get on the practice squad. But they have no quarterback, poor receivers, and no good shot at fixing those next year. Their defense will be stout, but I think we'll still win (3 in a row baby), especially considering we have a bye week before them.
at Kansas: Win. The new fat ass jerk has proved he can't coach college. Enjoy your 3 million dollar mistake Jayhawks.
Iowa State: Win. We better fucking win, and we need to hurt as many of their players as we can. And then riot and lynch their fans. And then steal their buses and drive back to Ames and burn that shit hole to the ground. And then we'll be even.
TCU: Win. Yeah, that's partially a homer pick, but I also think the wear and tear of the Big 12 will show up on the Frogs, and we should have our qb situation sorted out by then. (This one is about 50/50 though, and I wouldn't be shocked if we lost. Pissed, but not shocked)
at Kansas State: Loss. Yeah, gay, I know. But nobody should realistically be expecting to go 12-0 this season (except the players). And really, this could be winnable, but that all depends on our defense. If we can slow down Klien and the Wildcat run game at all, we will have a shot. But until I see that, I'm going loss.
West Virginia: Win. Same reason as TCU, schedule grind and all that. Also, we know all Dana's plays, they have no defense (Syracuse beat them by 26 and Louisville put up 38 i their win), and Red Bull is for people with AIDS. Real men drink NOS.
Texas Tech: Win. Did they show you anything last year that leads you to believe they will be better this year on the road? Didn't think so.
at Oklahoma: Probably Loss (but fuck those guys, you know). I think most likely blOU will probably win, but with Landry Jones at the helm, no Ryan Broyles, and Whaley probably injured by this time, we will have a shot. Hell, if Tech can do it...
at Baylor: Win. No RG3, no bowl game.
So if ma math is right that's 10-2, and considering this is a rebuilding year, is fucking awesome. After the spring game I can try and revisit this, but I probably won't. I think, at worst, we win 8 games, and for OSU on a "down" year, that's badass. And who knows, if we find us a QB we can be dangerous.
Fuck the haters,