Picks From Joes

Brett Deering

No Pokes this weekend? Well I'll still pick em.

Welcome back friends, it's that time of the week again (better than that time of the month I guess,) where we all get drunk together and make fun of everyone else. Well, at least I used to make fun of everyone else, now I'm forced to make fun of us just as much. So what are we drinking this week? Spaten Oktoberfest, which is tasty, but will require "assistance" to get to an acceptable level of drunk. No Thursday night Big 12 games (though Louisville isn't looking so hot right now against Rutgers), so all of my picks are legit this week. Well let's kick the tires and fire it up....

Baylor at Kansas State: Unlike Tramel I think Baylor is going to beat the dog piss out of Kansas State, so I only offer a score, Bears 56-10. I want to puke having to worry about Baylor so much, it's unnatural. Almost like dancing and enjoying a beer.

Iowa State at Texas Tech: Something isn't right about Tech being good again, they just started to suck a couple of years ago. Firing Leech over Craig James, yeah that worked out, but still here they are playing decent already. Shenanigans I say, shenanigans. I feel bad for the Clone players, they'll contract herpes from the water or something, and then lose 45-19.

Kansas at Texas Christian: I've seen some crushing losses in my day, but watching Clay bust that 70-ish yarder brought back horrible PTSD symptoms of James Hannah doing the same fucking thing to us in 2010. Anybody noticed how weird Clay runs? It's like a long legged midget, feet only go up like 3 inches every step but somehow he's going fast. I doubt the Frogs have to worry about that happening this weekend, Kansas has entered the seventh circle of football hell, and won't exit anytime soon. Horny Frogs win 31-3.

The Red River Shootout: You know what, fuck ABC. I'm a gun toting 'Merican, and I hate this PC bullshit world we live in. Ever been to Grove Oklahoma? One of my buddies was married underneath their hanging tree. We need more of that shit, hanging trees.

For those of you concerned...I don't think we should hang people. But we used to, and there's no reason to hide from that. ABC doesn't like the word "shootout," so made the change to rivalry. I'm opposed to changing things to avoid offending people. People need to be offended. So, should people be hung? Probably not. Should we revise history to make it more palatable? Definitely not.

So as long as I write for CRFF, the Goons and Horns will have a shootout, except without all the dying and such. Though them boys at UT might pray for death before it's over. I've seen OU fans worrying about all the weird stuff that can happen, and that everyone is picking them, and I'm sure Corso will pick them. Well guess what pussies, the better team wins most of the time. And Saturday, the better team will be Oklahoma, and they will win 47-12, Colt Case McCoy will be benched, Swoopes will come in and get hurt, then McCoy will come back in, and Mike Stoops will get arrested for pleasuring himself on the sidelines. Oh and I like the unis, come at me.

Go Pokes

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