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I Take Full Responsibility For Everything

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Okay... shit... I admit it... .I was the one that uttered Henry Iba's name in vain, punched Bullet, fornicated with a Frank Eaton doppelganger, mussed Gundy's hair, did some donuts on Eddie Sutton's lawn, and said that Barry Sanders was over-rated... all at the same time.  And sure I knew that each individual act would bring some bad luck to the Athletic Program, and that the collection of them all could be catastrophic, but I thought the Luck Gods wouldn't be total dicks and might actually look the other way on some of these.  Did you really have to take Holgorsen, plant the NFL seed into Blackmon and Weeden's heads, injure or investigate half of the basketball team, AND allow the Belarus Bomshell*, Nataliya Shatkovskaya to lose her doubles finals? Couldn't I just have been hit in the nuts or something and we call it good?

*Not an official nickname...but...this.

In summary, I apologize for doing all those things above, and ruining the last week of OSU fandom.  I promise to make it up to you, just as soon as I am done taking a leak on Ed Gallagher's grave.    ...what... that might bring more curse?... you are just being paranoid now... this is totally innocent.