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Save Your Money, Mizzou Is Giving It Up For Free

There are two types of easy girls in the world.

First, there are those that hide their easiness. You know the type. They're going to put out but they need an excuse to justify it first. This usually involves a heavy amount of alcohol and the line "I don't want you to get the wrong idea; this is totally unlike me."

Then, there is the girl that just doesn't care. Her mouth is the town blowjob factory and she makes no bones about it. She's not really a looker so she has to depend on her willingness to do anything to anybody for a decent amount of attention.

Missouri is the latter.

Missouri has not once, but twice, offered her services to the Big 10 only to be shut down on both occasions. This is kind of how I saw this take place:

Missouri: "Oh hey, Big 10. I know you were playing hard to get before, and that's okay. I'll still throw my skirt up for you."

Big 10: "Yeah...the problem is that the skirt still isn't long enough to cover your face soooo, no thanks."

Missouri: "Oh, whatever. C'mon, Big 10. You know Nebraska can't perform like I can."

Big 10: "How many National Championships do you have again? Two? Baseball and Indoor Track and Field? When was the last one? 1965?"

Missouri: "(silence).............Oh, SEC! Over here, SEC! Look! I ain't wearing any panties! Hey, why are you all voting and shaking your heads?"

More after the jump.

Does Missouri have no sense of pride? Do they feel no shame? I mean Texas A&M at least knew they had an invitation before they announced what their intentions were. Mizzou is just putting it all out there and hoping somebody will take their slut bait. Anybody.

And how awkward will it be if they remain stuck in the Big 12? OSU president Burns Hargis already took over as active chairman of the Big 12 Board of Directors, replacing Missouri chancellor, Brady Deaton. I really doubt Deaton is going to come back to the Big 12 in a month and say "So now that we're staying, can I have my chair back?"

Here's the thing. We all get it, Missouri. Texas is a giant prick. We all know that. Hell, even Texas fans know that. But this whole act of yours screams desperation. And please don't blame this on conference instability. You whoring yourself out to anyone and everyone else is creating the instability. Just chill out, cross your legs, and for everyone's sake, take a shower. Use some "special soap" while you're at it. Texas Tech will let you borrow hers.

The bottom line is that Missouri's best option is to just shut up and appreciate what they currently have. Rock the boat any more and they may be the only ones that fall out into the non-AQ ocean. And at that point, I really doubt anyone remaining in the boat will care to turn around to save them.

TCU, on the other hand, has nice sweater puppets and is wearing a tight white t-shirt. Climb aboard!