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That's No Twister, It's A Cyclone: Previewing Iowa State

Sup yo, time again for a preview. As the march to New Orleans continues, we've reached the Iowa portion of our schedule. They Cyclones are 5-4, and can smell a bowl game, unfortunately their final three games are against the creme of the Big 12, and so they'll be looking to capitalize on any opportunity. In a sad twist of fate it doesn't look like our Cowboys will face off against Steele "bigswingingcock" Jantz. He's no Bear "hugeballs69'ingchimpmunks" Woods, but still, we love names around here.

Iowa State Offense:

The Cyclones are currently ranked 59th in total offense, and 85th in scoring offense, gaining around 24 points a game. Currently the 'Clones are lead by Jared Barnett, a mobile quarterback, who has completed 49% of his passes on the year for 542 yards, 2 int's, and 1 TD. To be fair, his year only started 4 games ago, when he took over starting duties from Jantz (and I'm not going to insult of Cyclone brothers and pretend to know why Jantz lost the spot). Leading the way in the backfield is James White, going for about 14 carries and around 75 yards a game. State's leading receiver is Darius Reynolds with 29 snacks for 526 yards and 6 TD's. While we're talking about the pass game, the 'Clones have 7 receivers with double digit receptions on the year, so they can air it out when need be.

Let's hump the jump and get to defense...

Iowa State Defense:

Ummm, well there's not very many good things to put here. Iowa State has the 91st overall defense, a decent pass defense, and they don't defend the rush (their defense isn't as bad as ours, but hey, it's the worst defense to ever play college football so what can you expect?). They are also not very good in turnover margin, but leading the team with one interception is Stephen Ruempolhamer (actually, they have a total of 5 int's on the team, with 5 guys having one, but I'll be God Damned if I don't give Mr. Ruempolhamer some love). They also have one fumble recovery, for a total of six turnovers.

Keys To Victory:

-We must limit their ground game. They have a better ground game than we do, and they know they can't pass very well. They also love to have their quarterback (whoever it happens to be) run the ball in passing situations, and he does so decently (remind you of anyone?). If we can keep them under 140 yards on the ground we should have a great chance for a big win.

-We must also hold on to the fucking ball. Much like the KSU game, we could easily maul them, but if we turn it over, especially in key situations, and give them momentum, we could be in for another long night.

-Finally, if we start fast, the game will be over by half time. ISU hasn't quit this year, but they have no ability to dig out of a hole (insert anus joke here). I think we can safely put Clint Chelf in and let him run it as soon as we're up by 21. There's no need to leave the Million Dollar Man out there any longer, but I fear we might to help his Heisman chances.

I'm disappointed that we have to crush ISU this year, I actually enjoy them, but alas, the Poke train can't slow down for anyone. If you're going to Ames be sure to look up the Wide Right and Natty Light crew and say hello.

Go Pokes (sorry for the lack of jokes and length, I've been as busy today as Jerry Sanduskys lawyers)