The holidays are here at CRFF. Thanksgiving is upon us, and Christmas (bowl season) is right around the corner. The holidays are a tough time anyway, and the events of the last week around the OSU community have made them even tougher. Drinking can help. Here are some holiday drink recipes that will either be a delightful addition to your holiday meal, will make you go blind, or both:
Robert Griffin III's Colt 45 Whipping the Sooners Black Velvet:
Pour into a chilled Champagne flute or wineglass:
3 ounces chilled "Colt 45" brand malt liquor
Fill the glass with:
Chilled Champagne
You deserve it! You handed the Sooners a 45-38 upset in Waco. Why not celebrate with an icy malt beverage mixed with a sparkling white wine from the champagne region of France. You might think that mixing these two spirits together would just ruin the complexities of both, but are you trying to get drunk or not? Of course you aren't. You go to Baylor.
(ONE JUMP, TWO JUMP, THREE JUMP, FLOOR)
Iowa State's Natural Light in the Darkness
Pour into a frosty Lager Glass:
2 oz moonshine
2 oz bathtub gin
4 oz unfiltered corn pulp
Then, on top:
2 oz of Natural Light
The Natural Light will float on top momentarily. The first sip of this concoction will taste sweet and reassuringly of water and hops, but once this fleeting taste is over, God help you with what lies beneath. You will want to lick a tire to get the taste of this drink out of your mouth. Official drink of the 2011 Pinstripe Bowl.
Humble Brody Eldridge's Crimson Bull Shot Over the Bow
Mix together in a pitcher:
32 oz tomato juice, chilled, 11oz beef consomme, chilled
Pour over ice in highball glass:
1 1/2 oz Vodka, 3/4 teaspoon lime juice, dash of hot sauce
Fill glass with consumme/tomato mixture.
You better believe Bob Stoops is drinking this Thanksgiving. Former Sooner tight end Brody Eldridge's Tweet questioning Stoops program was a rallying cry to Sooner fans who believe that the culture of "swagger" (as current OU players call it), or "arrogance" (as Eldridge calls it) is to fault for the Sooners' lack-luster performances this year. Stoopsy will want to get hammed, and what better way to drown out the voices of getting beat by Baylor than to drink some Vodka soaked Bevo beef consomme blood? Think of the good times, Stoopsy.
Brandon Weeden's Maalox, Werther's Original, and Rye
Mix in a glass:
1 oz Maalox, 1/2 cup crushed Werther's Originals, 4 oz Rye
This drink is great for those tired, 28 year old bones. You had your first road loss, your Heisman odds aren't looking as good, and you've got your make-or-break, game of a lifetime with OU in a week and a half. You've got pressures, friend. And to think, these were supposed to be the golden years! You need a drink. You need the unwinding tri-fecta of a powerful stomach acid neutralizer, the go-to hard candy of the elderly, and a liquor that people only drank 50 years ago. The Maalox will relieve your stomach pains caused by getting beat by the Cyclones, the Rye will help you forget, and butterscotch-y wholesomeness of the Werthers will distract by reminding you of your grandpap and how he used to take you to the moving picture show on his Velocipede.
Ma Gundy's Secret Roofie Eggnog For When Mike and Cale Get Out of Hand Like They Have Every Holiday Since 1989. (Makes 16 servings)
Combine:
1 cup milk, 1 cup heavy cream
Whisk in a medium bowl just until blended:
12 egg yolks, 1 1/3 cups sugar, 1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
Heat in a large saucepan over medium-low heat:
2 cups milk, 2 cups heavy cream
Combine, heat to 175, let sit.
Now listen carefully or you will arouse suspicion:
Stir in liquor that has the pharmaceutical Flunitrazepam dissolved in it already. Also, be sure to have some capsules on hand just in case Mike and Cale brought their own bottles. The amount of Flunitrazepam to put into the bottle is a fine line. Not enough Flunitrazepam and we get a repeat performance of Cale telling Aunt Sue to "go poke herself", but not quite as politely. Too much Flunitrazepam, and Gunnar and Gage have to drive Mike and Kristen home again, Gunnar steering while Gage controls the gas pedal and the brake.