The following is a fair and balanced story that was emailed to me by a guy claiming to be Thayer Evans. Allegedly of course.
STILLWATER, OK. Oklahoma State Food Officials still want to talk to a man they say farts too much while trying to make ends meet at Eskimo Joes.
The man, Jimmy Esposito, a 19 year old Undecided Sophomore has refused to talk with Oklahoma State. He has also repeatedly refused interview requests by FOXSPORTS.com.
Even though Esposito hasn't spoken, the investigation that Oklahoma State Food and Safety officials started in late summer uncovered that Esposito allegedly farted repeatedly while making Joe's Famous Cheese fries back in July of 2011. It is unclear exactly when and to what extent this took place but we know for sure that it was in July or maybe August. It could have been September or was it Homecoming?
Anyways...
During the investigation, Food and Safety official also discovered that two employees "in the food industry" in Stillwater were consistently eating during their shift. It was later discovered that the employees didn't know that eating leftover fried shit violated Oklahoma Food Code. Both "eating on the job" incidents have reportedly been resolved.
Esposito has not taken any calls and has been uncooperative with FOXSPORTS.com
Two sources, speaking on the condition of anonymity told FOXSPORTS.com that Esposito has bragged about farting without people knowing several times.
Earlier this year Cole Miller, Eskimo Joe's Kitchen Manager, told his employees to be careful around Jimmy - another anonymous source said.
Esposito could not be reached for comment. Stan Clark could not be reached for comment. T Boone Pickens could not be reached for comment. Mike Gundy could not be reached for comment. Basically, nobody wants to talk about this.
Do you know who I am? Boomer Sooner!!!! Die Cowboys. Fuck You.