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Texas A&M's Mark Turgeon takes Maryland job: So who's next?

So now that it is official and Mark Turgeon has publically taken the job as the next head coach for the Maryland Terrapins - who is in line to take the reins at Texas A&M?

Lucky for all of you, I happen to have inside information coming straight from College Station. Everybody knows that Texas A&M is one of the most elite basketball schools in the nation. With that said, the Aggies will be able to hand pick whomever they please.

Click the jump for the list of candidates Texas A&M finds acceptable for the job.

***Sidenote: The list was actually eaten by a strange, obese woman. I'll do my best to remember the details.  


Phil Jackson: Obviously, Phil was planning on retiring from the coaching life but when he saw this opportunity present itself, he immediately ran to the phone to give A&M AD Bill Byrne a call (he has him on speed dial). Jackson was then flown to the hospital for throwing out his back.

Mike Krzyzewski: The Duke head coach has long proclaimed that his current stint in Durham is a mere stepping stone for what he considers his dream job in College Station. When asked about the possible privilege of taking over at A&M, Coach K replied "Look, I'm just happy that they're interviewing me. Has Jesus been offered??? I hope not..."

Jesus: According to Aggie inside sources, Bill Byrne personally called the man upstairs to shoot the shit, talk some golf, and ask if he would have any interest in capturing a long awaited Big 12 basketball title. I cannot repeat what was said but let it be known that his response set a world record for the most amount of babies ever to smile simultaneously around the globe.

Mark Turgeon: That's right. He's already back. Merely hours after accepting the Maryland job, a weeping and panicked Turgeon called Bill Byrne to beg for the job he had just given up. He explained that he was lured to a bar called "The Cockpit" by former A&M head coach Billy Gillispie the night before. He remembers Gillispie trying to talk him into taking the Maryland job, then how his beer tasted a bit odd, then dancing with five half naked men swinging glow sticks, and nothing after that.