The alternate title for the post was, "Holy hell I miss the tits out of college", but I quickly realized that title offended every grammatical and sense-making rule out there, so I re-tooled it to be slightly more palatable. All I really wanted to do here is list a few things that we all can probably agree are things that we either didn't appreciate enough when it was our reality, or didn't fully understand at the time. Current Oklahoma State students take note, do not repeat the mistake of overlooking these things even though 100% of students before you have done the same thing. Whatever... you damn young current students are probably too busy with your Twitters, and Twilight New Moons, and hoverboards, and Pokemons, and sexting, and whatnot to take anything some ancient, probably 30 year old, blogger has to say seriously. Oh well, this will make more sense to you in a few years.
| During College | After College | |
|---|---|---|
| The Athletic Teams | At least going to the games gives us something to do instead of sitting around the dorm/apt/house. I mean sure I love the team, but you know, I got some drinkin, and hopefully, lovin to do later. You know what we should do, let's get all kinds of hammered and paint our chests and shit. Of course we can still leave at halftime and go to Hamilton's house to smoke and drink and watch Tosh.0. Just put on something orange and let's get to the stadium, the game started like 20 minutes ago. | This foot/basket/base/wrestle/ball team carries my soul with them. They are my main remaining connection to the school and town I so fondly remember, and I will live and die by every win and loss, I will obsess over a 17 year-olds choice of schools, and I will invest thousands of dollars to attend sporting events I could get into for almost nothing when I was in school. |
| The old guy that never left |
What a loser! That dude was a senior when my older brother was a pledge! Shit, he has to be 27 by now. Why is he still in this town? And working at a fucking bar? Get a real job in a real city, dick! Look at him talking to those girls. They only like you cause you let them stay and drink after closing! When I am that guys age I will be banking at some kick-ass job, traveling the world, meeting tons of interesting people, and that poor fuck will probably still be here managing a bar. |
That guy was a fucking genius. 27 years old, no worries, living like a king on $500 a month rent, dating 20 year olds, nothing tying him down. Meanwhile I still haven't been promoted above "technical specialist", I'm barely making my rent and car payments, I have no money to travel, and all I do is sit and count the days until my next vacation so I can go back to that little ol college town and party balls. How did that loser have life figured out before me? |
| Being around so many attractive people | Shit, I am tired of seeing the same damn people every night! Look there is Morgan again… wearing that same damn short skirt and heels she wore 3 parties ago. Oh, and she just looked at me like she is tired of me! Please girl. We need to go to a big city and meet some new prospects. Next break let's go to LA or something and just scheme on everything we see. | Okay… apparently there was only a short window of my life where 20,000 people of my age group, who are all pretty much available, all want to meet people, and don't expect much more than to have a good time, will all live within 4 square miles of me. I honestly thought that was just how life would be forever. Fuck.. the woman I'm dating now is divorced and has a 3 year old! You think I wouldn't kill to go back 6 years and be so all over Morgan and that sexy ass skirt and heels she always wore? Honestly... there we all were, surrounded by thousands of potential suitors, all of them available, at the pinnacle of their attractiveness, full of potential... we all had so many options to choose from. Why didn't we all exhaust every pairing opportunity we had? Shit, nostalgia time is over, I gotta go pick up my future stepson. |
