There have been some rumblings lately about the possibility of our beloved Cowboys strumpeting themselves for the new University of Texas themed ESPN station in the October 15th match-up at Austin. It has been announced that The Longhorn Network, ESPN’s harbinger of the apocalypse, will now feature a Big 12 conference football game. Other potential candidates for this game are Baylor and Texas Tech.
A few months ago, King posted on the destruction of college football as we know it at the hands of this Longhorn Network. Yachoff is not here to rehash that excellent, muck-raking post. Yachoff is just here to bitch that all OSU fans will be moderately-to-majorly inconvenienced if OSU vs. UT is put on "The L.N."(not to be confused with "The Lifetime Network: Television for Women") instead of ABC or regular old ESPN.
Jump for some Whine, Bitch, and Moan....Have you heard the grating, stoner-esque, drawling rasp of Matthew McConaughey waxing poetic on UT yet today? Would you like to? Here you go... While you are there you can research if your own little corner of the world plans to air "The L.N." and if not (which will be the case), you can actually request that your cable or satellite provider get the network, which Yachoff and the other writers and editors of CRFF respectfully request that you please do not do.
It boils down to this: If the game is to be played on the network and you live north of the Red River, you will likely not see it. Not at your house, not at your local bar, not anywhere. As much as Yachoff loves OSU play-by-play man Dave Hunziker, listening to the UT game on the radio will not be as enjoyable as actually seeing it on TV. Traveling to Austin is not on the table to most OSU fans, so there is a possibility that this marquee game will only be seen by the fans of the University of Texas. Not since the Washington Generals signed an exclusive contract with the Harlem Globetrotters has the business of sports been so one-sided.
Baylor and Texas Tech make a hell of a lot more sense for "The L.N.", and Yachoff holds out hope that the same ESPN folks who created this monstrosity of a cable network in the first place will at least have the decency to make an effort to be fair to fans of both Big12 teams, whomever they choose. BU and TT are built into the reach of the network, so Bear and Red Raider fans will be able to find a T.V. set that is showing the game without much difficulty.
The only reason "The L.N." might pick OSU is that the Cowboys will unquestionably be the toughest and most important game for U.T. of these three squads. Wanting people to tune in and order their channel no matter their affiliation to UT, ESPN may use the Cowboys preseason top ten ranking and offensive firepower to con people into requesting a T.V. station that they will only watch four hours annually.
But to use the parlance of our times, 'Homey don't play that game'. Don't fall into the trap of requesting this network and patronizing this network only to see one game. As Cowboy fans we should be prepared to mobilize a different kind of "Blackout" for Texas. Cowboys fans should commit to the simple promise that they will never pay good money for a television station that only promotes another university. If you are able to watch the Cowboys on "The L.N." for free at some other venue then by all means you should do so, but never pay for that right. And feel free to mess with Texas. Just do yourself a favor and don't mess with this soon-to-be travesty of a sports network.