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You Asked For It: Theta Pond Haiku


The Summer months bring a relaxing, peaceful, pastoral feeling over the campus of Oklahoma State.  And the most tranquil, halcyon spot in all of Stillwater is the still waters of our own Theta Pond.  This pond has been an OSU institution since 1922, and is a nice place to sit back, relax, and feed the birds.  Or to go there and study, to take a date for some mild to heavy petting, or as the Stillwater homeless have shown, to drink cans of Sterno by.  Back in my "Belligerence of Pride" post, Yachoff mentioned that Haiku's of Theta Pond were scheduled for mid-August.  Well, here are the Haiku's we've promised you and that the kids these days are just CLAMORING for, weeks ahead of schedule (we don't mess around at CRFF). 

We Love The-ta Pond.
Nev-er, Walk-ing From The Strip,
In-to It Barf Gin.

Hipp-ies Love The-ta.
For-tun-ate-ly, O-S-U
Won't Ad-mit Hipp-ies.

The-ta Pond In-spires
Wat-er Co-lored Mem-o-ries
Of Beer Bongs Long Ago.

This Pond Is So Nice
You’ll Think You’re At The Oce-an.
On-ly Not Real-ly.

Go past the jump for Yachoff's dirtyier ones....

The-ta Pond Is Rad.
I Got A Hand-y There Once.
Ne-ver Learned Her Name.

O-U Has A Pond,
Not As Nice As The-ta Is.
Where Goons Wash Them-selves.

Don’t Drink From The-ta.
The Wat-er Is Not That Pure.
Love Ca-nals More Pure.

Co-Eds At The-ta.
Just Ask-ing To Get Thrown In.
Get That T-Shirt Wet.

Dur-ing Walk-A-Round
The-ta Is Ut-i-lized Well,
To Throw Empt-ies In.

Went To The-ta Pond
To Stu-dy For A Mid-Term.
Watched Geese Fuck In-stead.


Full Of Bro-ken Glass
Old Con-doms And Cig-ar-ettes
The Pond Is Still Great.

The-ta Pond Smells Good.
To-mo-rrow It Will Smell Bad
Be-cause Of Ur-ine.

The-ta Pond Has Been
Site Of Ma-ny Fin-ger-ings
And Some Poor Fish-ing.

There you have it.  Now finally we can get some peace and quiet around the offices of CRFF.  No more endless phone calls and e-mails asking: "When will we get some damn oriental poetry on this Oklahoma State athletics site?"  Yachoff hopes the masses are finally sated by this small offering of Haiku.

CRFF now offers you this opportunity to add to this Haiku pile in the comments.  It's easy: Five syllables in the first line, Seven in the second, Five in the third.