clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Masturbation Aids for Each Big 12 Fanbase

Pictured: Not in any way an accurate sample of the images within this post.
Pictured: Not in any way an accurate sample of the images within this post.

As most of you know, the goal since the founding of this site was to eventually turn it into a porn site.  Well that day is finally here... sorta. Unfortunately, SB Nation has a bunch of rules about this in the "don't turn your site into a porn site" section of the contract I signed. But being the resourceful website manager I am, I have found a way around this and still found a way for people to pleasure themselves to CRFF (a dream come true!). How did I do this?  Fanbase specific masturbation aids. The pictures within this post do more than just show naked people... these images get to the core of what really turns on a Big 12 fan.

Follow me through the jump, and find the perfect picture to get a member of each Big 12 fanbase in the mood.

Warning: If you are a fan of a Big 12 school, skip over your section if you are in public or anywhere that it isn't safe to remove your pants.

Baylor Bears Fan

Oh ya.  Look at those ankles. Oh my gosh... is she dancing? So naughty.  Oh goodness gracious, look at that giant Dr. Pepper.  I bet she is going to drink it. OH YES!  DRINK IT!

Texas Tech Red Raiders Fan
Is that... could it really be... a mild case of herpies?  Oh dear God. Just beautiful.

Texas A&M Aggies Fan

Oklahoma State Cowboys Fan

Oklahoma Sooner Fan
Ooooo baby.  A public school diploma. oooooooo ...the highest level of education that can possibly be obtained. Yes Yes... BOOMER.

Texas Longhorn Fan
Oh YESSS.  A totally normal, middle class person.  OH GOD.  Look at how he doesn't have a mowhawk.  Yes Yes. And he isnt a total frat prick either.  Oh God. So normal.  You just can't find that in exotically normal. Oh YES!

Kansas Jayhawks Fan
How high is that? I bet that is a 200 foot hill.  Jesus. Oh... it is so tall.  It would take 14 minutes to scale that thing... oh geez. So high... so high... oh.. HIIIILLLLL!

Kansas State Wildcats Fan
Is that a pic from the 90's?  I'm done.

Missouri Tigers Fan

Iowa State Cyclones Fan