clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

EATING CROW: Longhorns have the sweetest Ash

Tell me that Ash doesn't stand out among the rest.

Brendan Maloney-US PRESSWIRE - Presswire


People have been known to eat it.

Being an opinionated person, I have had more than one opportunity to sample the "coyote" of birds.

But this is a special occasion.

You see, in the past I ate crow because of a singular statement. One comment, by itself.

Today I eat crow because of an entire article, and a wager.

In the two weeks leading up to the much anticipated tilt between Texas and Oklahoma State, I authored this post arguing that the Longhorns' beautiful piece of Ash was nothing more than a Brazilian lift, a cosmetic cover up for no Ash at all. I should know, as I am an "Ash" man. This gif by a colleague suggested that this Ash preferred duck instead of steak.

Following that post, BON's Peter Bean was kind enough to join us for CRFF's weekly podcast previewing the big game. As we wound things up, a friendly wager sprung up between Peter and me. Should OSU win, Bean would adorn himself with the Gundy "spike" hairdo and video himself doing the "Gundy." If Texas wins, I would have to declare myself president of the "Ash for Heisman" fan club, and post something waxing poetic about the perfect shape of Harsin's Ash.

Oh yes, folks, I'm eating crow. Not just any crow. We're talking the whole thing, feathers and gravy. Not even a tequila chaser.

I'm here to declare that this Ash is no imposter. Harsin is NOT a cosmetic genius, but a fitness guru.

He took that homely, plain looking backside, recognized the hidden beauty inside, and turned it into one of the most alluring Ashes this side of the Pecos, and in doing so has instilled confidence in the Longhorns that they might be able to use his Ash to get whatever they want.

And the development of that Ash is far from complete. Harsin is very careful about how he displays his Ash in public. He has yet to completely expose his Ash for fear that tell-tale "saddle bags" or a little "cottage cheese" still exists. But from what I saw in Stillwater on 9/29, I say break out the thong, because I'm ready see as much of that Ash as I can get my hands on.

That Ash should be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Now, just to be clear, this is not the finest piece of Ash I've ever seen. However, although many an Ash have crossed my path that I would have much prefered, I will not be kicking this Ash out of bed just yet. There is something about this Ash that I find intriguing, almost enticing.

Given that the Red Bull Express does not possess the tools to come after Harsin's Ash, I will be looking forward to it being on full display this Saturday against West Virginia. I will not be happy if UT decides to dress that Ash in too many layers. Put it out there...advertise all it's glory.

Unfortunately, this Ash may need some protection come the following Saturday, as the Sooners will be in town. Don't forget that OU took this Ash's virginity last season, so I doubt they will be distracted by a little wiggle and walk. Harsin might need to rely on his Ash more than he really wants to.

While I think this Ash is pretty fine, it is not fine enough. I'm confident though, by next season, that Harsin's Ash could compete with the finest Ashes in the land. Maybe even be the finest.

But at some point, his Ash will have to be dressed to impress.

At some point, Harsin's Ash will have to be THE reason the game was won. Otherwise, his Ash will just be another piece of meat on display for those who would stare, but not anything you would want a deeper relationship with.

The Longhorns want a relationship, and I'm beginning to think there is more behind Harsin's Ash than the stereotypical "camel toe."

This Ash might have both looks and brains, and that could spell trouble for the teams looking to get their hands on this Ash for their own pleasure.

Because right now, the pleasure is all the Longhorns'.


All joking aside, I was definitely impressed with Ash's composure, and he threw the ball better than I had seen previously. UT has a chance, if they shore up the defensive issues, to compete at the highest levels. The excuse can no longer rest with the QB situation.

I will be really interested to see how he fares going forward. If the Longhorns keep winning, every game will become the biggest game of the year, and teams love taking their shots in those moments. How he responds when a team figures out how to get real pressure on him will be huge.

So far, it looks like between Harsin and Ash they have figured out what to do to be successful.

Given that UT beat OSU, I will unfortunately have to root for the Longhorns' opponents as long as they stand in the way of the Cowboys defending their Big 12 title, and believe me that will really SUCK a week from Saturday (really kind of a win-win...UT loss helps OSU...OU loss is NEVER a bad thing).

Best of luck the rest of the way. It was a pleasure eating crow for you...really.