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Bowl Selection Sunday: Three Projections For OSU

Dear Bowl Selection Committees: When you, your business interests, the NCAA, Sec. of State Hillary Clinton, Pope Benedict XVI, and the frozen head of Walt Disney all converge to the secret underground lair beneath Touchdown Jesus Sunday to select the nation's bowl schedule, we hope you will keep in mind that OSU is really a good team that only just recently hit a rough patch. Thanks in Advance, CRFF

By T. Garth Sanders
Kye Staley, in happier times.
Kye Staley, in happier times.
Christian Petersen

Cotton Bowl vs Texas A&M, Arlington, Texas

As Whetsell mentioned in the podcast, if Texas A&M is by chance selected for the SEC half of the Cotton Bowl, UT would not be selected as the Big 12 school because of bad realignment blood in the state of Texas. This political scenario is our only shot at the Cotton, and not very likely, because a Texas vs Georgia Cotton Bowl is all but inked in Jerry-land. OSU going out with two losses is not going to help matters. Still, fingers crossed.

Alamo Bowl vs. Oregon State, San Antonio, Texas

OSU vs. OSU. This is the one we've all wanted to see. Orange and Black Oklahoma State versus Orange and Black Oregon State in a grudgematch to determine which football program can be crowned "Second Best All-Time Football Program Abbreviated as OSU". Both are programs that are hoping and wishing on a star for this mid-tier bowl, and not some ridicustupidly named "Buffalo Wild Wings" or "Meinike Car Care of Texas" -like Bowl. The Beavers are ranked, 9-3, and just off a Savannah-like 77-3 beatdown of Nicholls State. They took care of most of their conference games and are a pass first offense capable of scoring a lot of points quickly. They will probably kick our ass.

Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl vs. Michigan State, Tempe, Arizona

Ah, Buffalo Wild Wings. Where else can you get 12 tiny pieces of chicken slathered in flavor sauce and 16 ounces of old keg beer for twenty-seven dollars?

Just when I finally started calling it the "Insight Bowl" and not the "Weiser Lock Bowl" or the "Domino's Pizza Bowl", the powers that be up and changed the name again, this time after the shittiest sports bar that all your friends seem to like for some reason. 6-6 Michigan State looks like a stooge, but every game they lost besides Notre Dame was by less than four points. That being said, Michigan State plays in the Big 10 so we should beat them by 25. It may be named after the grossest restaurant in your town's strip mall, but at least the Cowboys would win the "B'DUBS Bowl".

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