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IN TRIPLE GAME JEOPARDY: OSU's 23 Straight Winning Seasons On The Line

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OSU's twenty-three year streak of winning seasons is in danger of becoming extinct.

With three games remaining, including two with the untan but basketball proficient Kansas schools, OSU has a lot of work and praying to do to keep the streak alive. Leading freshman Le'Bryan Nash broke his hand against the Sooners, so there is also that.

Tomorrow's game against Texas A&M is not even a lock at this point with a hurt Nash. We are going to have a losing season, folks. Big 12 Tournament hopes aside, the situation is grim. The OSU natives would be restless if there were as many natives in the stands as there used to be.

(Jump to read more, or for a similar effect, just slip a cyanide capsule under your tongue. Do not be afraid, it's like going to sleep...)

Since there are an odd number of regular season games, there can be no tying season. There will be only winning or losing. OSU now has to win-out the remaining three games for a winning season. Against Kansas. Against Kansas St. and their mobbed-up* coach in the "Octagon of Fart".*

You should be able to win half your games. You totally should. There is no excuse. We almost beat Virginia Tech, but on the other hand we almost lost to SMU, and those two almosts cancel out. We came close to downing a top-ten ranked Baylor at home, but our epic 41 point pummeling by them on the feces-brown court of their dusty, dingy, Waco stadium, kind puts the dampers on that hollow no-victory. Cowboy basketball is going to take it on the chin for the first time since some folks in grad school wore short pants.

We just couldn't find a way this season. We can blame any number of things. A short bench due to injury and defections for reasons unknown by malcontents, youth and inexperience, not having the right sort of tapas and mineral water in the locker rooms. T-Boone's absence from the court this season could be to blame, but this is believed to be untrue because every good OSU fan knows that T-Boone is ever-present, he is always watching us and he is always with us.

So, let's get to the heart of the matter. Barring an absolute miracle, OSU is going to have a losing season for the first time since 1988. Sean Sutton got close in 2008, but managed to pull out of that distinction by a one game margin. Then he was fired. With a losing season, we can as fans, officially and unquestionably say that OSU basketball "stinks". Or "sucks", or "is shitty" if you prefer. It is difficult at first to make the vocal chords say such a blasphemy, but once the truth of the matter rings true, you will find it easier. Go ahead and say it reader*: "OSU basketball is shitty". There, feel better? Neither does Yachoff.


(* Unfair Stereotype of Italian-Americans)

(* Yachoff Calls The Kansas State basketball arena "The Octagon of Fart" because he thinks it's funny)

(* Singular)