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TV Network to Transform Baylor's Tarp Into Advertising Platform

Desperate for earnings amidst a terrible Big 12 football season, a top TV network plans to convert Baylor's tarp into a new revenue stream. Will it be enough to save a Baylor-led Big 12 from financial ruin?

The Baylor tarp
The Baylor tarp

Still reeling from last weekend's Big 12 debacles, top executives at a prominent TV network met yesterday to discuss the league's viability in the wake of steadily faltering revenues. According to multiple sources who were not authorized to speak with the media, Baylor University was the meeting's sole agenda item. At issue, the board was split over which event was more calamitous: a university with 47 known fans poised to win the conference, or their televised exposure by a weak Kansas State squad in front of those same 47 fans. The possibility that Mack Brown might continue at the helm for another year – or that a second top 15 Big 12 team had met with defeat in less than one month – was not broached. Instead, the concern over Baylor and its beer-resistant fandom, dominated the discussion. Imagining a worst case scenario where the Bears remained perched atop the Big 12 for the foreseeable future, the board members in attendance were adamant about the development of a new revenue strategy.

With details not reported elsewhere, CRFF can confirm that a top Hollywood CGI studio has been contracted to transform the Baylor tarp into an enormous, state-of-the-art chroma key advertising portal. Using technology similar to that found in Hollywood and local news stations, a giant "green screen" background would provide networks a customizable marketing platform. Believed to be the first of its kind, advertising real estate on the new chroma key tarp is to be sold in 100'x100' squares. The squares are to be marketed regionally and will be available for purchase individually or combined into a large, coordinated message.

Although more wide-screen game footage will be required due to the sheer size of the tarp, the TV executives believed this hurdle would eventually be overcome by the ever-increasing size of the average American TV. Beginning as early as this weekend against Iowa State, gratuitous tarp shots are to be broadcast by sponsored blimps alongside regular game footage. Pending successful focus group testing, the remaining games to be played at Floyd Casey Stadium may be shot entirely from 1,500 feet; providing viewers a unique strategy perspective while simultaneously opening the entire four hour contest to advertisers.

When contacted by CRFF, a Baylor University spokesperson declined comment.