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USA TODAY/COACHES POLL IS OBVIOUSLY DRUNK: Cowboys, Sooners ascend.

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Just to be clear, I don't give a crap about the AP, which has no meaning. This poll shouldn't either.

Gundy & Chelf obviously discussing how to handle the snap under center against Iowa State.
Gundy & Chelf obviously discussing how to handle the snap under center against Iowa State.
Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sport

Oklahoma State is the #12 team in the country...OU is #9.

[in my best Bill Cosby does Noah voice] Riiiiiiight.

Miami is #6, yet opens as a 21pt dog to Florida State.

Case McCoy is LEADING the previously floundering Longhorns, who sit undefeated along with BAYLOR atop the Big 12 standings. Mack's job might suddenly be salvageable....

Baylor football is undefeated for the season and ranked 5th...in the country. Right behind Bama, Oregon, FSU, and Ohio State.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.

The Cowboys, who lost to West Virginia, travel to Lubbock as a 2.5pt favorite over previously undefeated and 10th ranked Texas Tech, whose only loss was a tough game in Norman to a team that is now in the top 10 after that win. Oh yea, the Red Raiders BEAT West Virginia in Morgantown.

Vegas is drunk too.

RANK TEAM RECORD POINTS FIRST PLACE VOTES PREVIOUS RANK CHANGE HI/LOW
1 Alabama
Crimson Tide
8-0 1542 56 1 1/1
2 Oregon
Ducks
8-0 1483 6 2 3/2
3 Florida State
Seminoles
7-0 1419 0 3 12/3
4 Ohio State
Buckeyes
8-0 1375 0 4 4/2
5 Baylor
Bears
7-0 1293 0 5 22/5
6 Miami
Hurricanes
7-0 1190 0 6 24/6
7 Stanford
Cardinal
7-1 1182 0 8 1 13/4
8 Clemson
Tigers
7-1 1064 0 10 2 10/4
9 Oklahoma
Sooners
7-1 933 0 12 3 18/9
10 Missouri
Tigers
7-1 834 0 7 3 14/7
11 Auburn
Tigers
7-1 804 0 17 6 17/11
12 Oklahoma State
Cowboys
6-1 803 0 13 1 20/11
13 LSU
Tigers
7-2 802 0 13 13/6
14 Texas A&M
Aggies
6-2 758 0 15 1 15/6
15 Texas Tech
Red Raiders
7-1 673 0 9 6 25/9
16 South Carolina
Gamecocks
6-2 627 0 20 4 20/6
17 Louisville
Cardinals
7-1 579 0 16 1 17/6
18 Fresno State
Bulldogs
7-0 542 0 18 25/18
19 UCLA
Bruins
5-2 432 0 11 8 21/10
20 Northern Illinois
Huskies
8-0 373 0 22 2 23/20
21 Michigan
Wolverines
6-1 309 0 23 2 24/12
22 Central Florida
Knights
6-1 300 0 25 3 25/22
23 Wisconsin
Badgers
5-2 253 0 24 1 24/18
24 Michigan State
Spartans
7-1 237 0 NR 24/24
25 Notre Dame
Fighting Irish
6-2 83 0 NR 25/11