In anticipation of their first Big 12 co-championship, Baylor University is in the process of designing rings for their historic 2013 season. The initial design, leaked exclusively to CRFF, is inset with a large emerald gemstone and encircled with the inscription "One True Champion". The ring also features the Baylor team record "11-1" on one side and the score "49-24" on the other.
Eleven wins represents an historic milestone for a program coach Art Briles has restored from the league cellar. Although Baylor still has games remaining with Texas Christian University and the University of Texas, both are considered to be "gimmes" by the Baylor spokesperson we interviewed and are included as wins in the design.
The score on the other side of the proposed ring, however, is more enigmatic. Noticeably similar to last year's bowl victory over UCLA, the point total does not match any game played by the Bears this season. When asked about this aspect of the design, the Baylor spokesperson bristled:
"We believe the Cowboys had an unfair home-field advantage in the game we played up there in the cold at Stillwater. Their invisible marmot attacked Bryce Petty on his long touchdown, so we felt justified in adding that touchdown to our total."
Because every team (but Kansas) is a winner in the Big 12, Texas Tech is also rumored to be considering their own Big 12 co-championship rings inset with a likeness of King Kliff and inscribed with #OurCoachIsHotterThanYourCoach.
The Big 12: one conference, ten champions. And one invisible marmot.