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Picks From Joes: Bedlam Ice

You'll need all the booze you can stomach Saturday morning, it'll take several rounds of the liquid courage to survive this mess.

Get ready boys, get ready.
Get ready boys, get ready.
Ronald Martinez

Last Picks of the regular season. Let's go out on a high note.

Texas at Baylor: I've always wondered what it would take for me to root for Texas or OU. I'm still not sure what it'll take for me to root for OU (I'm assuming it won't happen. If they played the university of Iran I'd buy a turban,) but I've finally found a reason to pull for Texas. Baylor, yes that Baylor, has some of the dirtiest players in college football. Need proof? See Ahmad Dixon. He was finally ejected from a game last week, but you'll also remember him as the player who received 4 personal fouls against OU in one play and wasn't ejected. He's only one player, but he's indicative of the entire program. I'm assuming Christian values are checked at the gate when entering a football game down in Waco.

So yes, Texas may still be the evil empire, and they may still fuck my other team by hiring their coach away, but I'd rather cheer on Tehran Desert Fox's than see Baylor have any more success. However I think Baylor will win, 45-24.

Oklahoma at Oklahoma State: Well it's time. I've had a hard time mustering up the hate this week. I expended so much energy hating Baylor that I almost forgot to have those scum fuckers from down south. Almost. It's been a while since I've found some new blOU personality to hate, but thanks to a new radio station I've discovered two new Goon to despise. Fucking Tony Casillas has taken about 300 too many shots to the head, and Kelly Greg sounds like he has half a ham sandwich in his mouth every time he speaks.

Listening to those two suck that Red dick all week has almost made me want to switch stations. Almost. Back to the game, this is a shitty spot for us. If we win, we get no credit cause fuck OU they suck this year. If we lose we look like pole smokers who choke in the big games. But Gabe Ikard is a pussy, the rest of their O-Line sucks, their linebackers are shit, and they have a starter with a combined two games experience. Gilbert and company will butt rape their offense, the number 10 express will lead the rushing attack right up their ass, and we're gonna beat the shit out of em, 38-13. I think if weather wasn't a factor we'd score at least 50, but it's gonna be shitty Saturday.

Stay warm, get drunk, don't let blOU fans near your tailgates (and for God sake, if they're cold throw water on them) and remember....

Go Pokes