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Picks From Joes: Rock, Chalk, Infidelity

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Nothing say's "You've arrived" like a girl 20 years younger than you. Oh and knock her up, that'll help.

Dat face dou
Dat face dou
Tom Pennington

I'm watching Houston make a dramatic comeback against Indy, I'm half past smashed, and just like Bill Self I want to get it out of my pants, so prepare for a quick round hate. I'm adding a new feature here on PFJ, and that's a beer recommendation. This week I strongly suggest the Bridgeport Hop Czar. Do you like IPA's? Do you want a beer that is like a hop was rammed into your soul? Do you like 8 percent beers? Then you need the Hop Czar, it's a good beer for when it's getting cool outside, and it'll get you drunk.

West Virginia at Texas Tech: Was Holgo ever Coach Bro's offensive coordinator? If so that explains all their mutual love of snatch snacks and casinos. I believe this is one of those games were the announcers say something lame like "better get the scoreboard ready" which makes everyone want to group vomit. The Penicillin Raiders are looking to get back on track after a good solid ass kicking up in Manhattan, while the 'Neers look to escape without acquiring VD. Normally I'd like the home team in a game like this, but I don't think the student is ready to take out the master yet, WVU wins 55-51.

Texas Vs. Oklahoma (Big D): If you're a goon fan you better watch out; Dallas hasn't been good to you in a while, the Horns have a decent defense, and Vance Bedford is gonna be strapping heaters on the side line. That man might kill someone just to prove he would. I heard that Adrian Peterson will be on the sidelines. Not as a spectator, he's getting a head start on his community service and cleaning up. This is a game that should be close, but I have a feeling it won't be, the goons will be ready to redeem themselves and whatnot, and Tejas is just the worst, they're just horrible. Having said all that the Stronghorns shock the earth and win 17-16.

Toledo at Iowa State: Look, even though the Cyclones gave us a collective Cleveland Steamer back in '11, and even though they bailed on me last weekend (but don't you worry, I took at least three years off my life and did a bar crawl, I got every bar on or near the strip), I still wish the Clones success. So with that in mind I have one small request to ask of you: STOP SCHEDULING 3 TIME D2 NATIONAL CHAMPS! STOP SCHEDULING DECENT MAC TEAMS! If they would just follow the Snyderball approach, and schedule schools that agree to lose before hand, they'd make a bowl game more often than once a decade. This Toledo team isn't bad, has played a tough schedule, and have won three in a row. Sadly I feel they'll make it a 4 banger, as the Rockets win 31-27.

Texas Christian at Baylor: This will be some form of religious Inception as the Horned Frogs travel to Waco to fight bears in a Coliseum, this just got biblical. It will be interesting to see how the frogs rebound from their first big Big 12 win last weekend, if I was Patterson I'd be worried my players were still partying right now. And it's Thursday. But to his credit, Patterson seems to be the anti-Spread fuhrer, so I expect this will be a decent game. I should pick the Bears, but my hate filled heart is making me pick the Frogs, 38-35.

Oklahoma State at Kansas: So I was trying to think of some jokes to bust on Kansas, but isn't their team joke enough? Their football team is a joke, their beloved basketball coach is busy nailing every Co-ed in Corbin Hall, and they have removed their schematic advantage. That pisses me off, because I had a bag of fat jokes at the ready. I guess I'll have to save them for Mangino, but Weis was more fun. Whatever, Pokes win a surprisingly close one, 31-24.

Go Pokes