Welcome back folks, hope your liver is still functioning after the past couple of weekends. Of course even if it is, the way this season is going we're all going to need to get on a transplant list pretty soon. This weekend we're not drinking beer, we're drinking Kentucky Deluxe. Sure it tastes like a cows taint, and it'll give you worse stomach problems than Ebola (that's funny,) but it's what we need to survive the game. Let's hit it:
Oklahoma at Iowa State: I saw on the news the other day that the goon band revolted against their master. Apparently he wasn't creative enough or something. I don't know much about marching band, but I'd guess when you only know one song it's pretty tough to do much with it. I wonder if blOU fans have given up on the season yet? If not I say go ahead and join us and the whole state can hate life. OU wins 37-26.
Texas Christian at West Virginia: If I were a Frog fan I'd be concerned about traveling to WVa, those bastards love drugs so much they might try an lick them hoping to go on a trip. Though I won't feel bad for Frog folks this year, they've adopted the roll of "asshole" and are busying running up the score on errbody. Actually that's not true, so long as Baylor has a decent team they'll keep that spot on lockdown. I hope the local fire departments are ready to roll, because it the 'Neers win this one the damn countryside is going up. I guess for the good of the conference I want TCU to win, but I'm going to pick the upset anyway, WVU wins 38-37.
Kansas at Baylor: I'm pretty sure that everything Bebe's kids will do on Saturday is forbidden in the Bible. Sorry Jayhawks, Bears win 63-3.
Texas at Texas Tech: To Tejas, if A&M is little brother, what does that make Tech? I don't even think they're stepbrother, I think they're more like the creepy kid down the road who lights fires and tortures cats. Of course, Lubbock will do things to a man that make GTMO look like a vacation spot. Tech has gotten worse with every game (funny, that's going around this season, we must have caught it from them) while Texas has, ummm, well I don't know. One game they'll look competent, the next they piss their pants more than the coma wing at the hospital. I'm going to hope Texas wins to set up the drama on November 18th, (let's go with "The Battle For The Bowl",) but hope has pretty much failed me this year. Tech wins 23-20.
Oklahoma State at Kansas State: I've debated on how I should handle this game, and more to the point this team going forward. I've heard all the excuses, I've heard all the reasons, and I think I'm at the point where I just don't want to hear that shit anymore. Let's go through the excuses:
We're just young-
This is the worst excuse ever, and I'm tired of hearing it. First, these kids have been playing football since before their balls dropped. Hell, porn stars do their best work when their young. Sure milf porn is popular, but the money (amongst other things) is in the 18 year olds.
We've had too many injuries-
Stop getting hurt you bastards, especially against Missouri state. No excuse, workout better or something.
We've missed on too many recruits-
This is 100% Gundy's fault. At some point you've got to be able to spot the Herschell Simms of the world. Hell Devon Thomas had a God damn rap sheet, absolutely no surprise there. So for fuck sake, please stop going the thug route, Baylor has that monopolized anyway.
It is just unacceptable to reach the point we've reached and regress this far. This is one of those years that reset the "plan" and ruin the next half decade. Oh and Kansas State is going to curb check us tomorrow, 42-9.