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Nobody's played a game, but that won't stop King and me from sounding off...well, maybe it'll only stop one of us....

Matt Kartozian-USA TODAY Sports

So it's time for us to lay waste to the landscape that is Big 12 football.

No, this is not Picks from Joe's. That's later in the week.

How this works? The weekly power poll isn't about ranking teams best to worst. It's about ranking them according to how we feel about their performances the previous weekend, and what we think of them in general (which is why you'll probably never see Baylor ranked #1).

Sometimes there's a theme (me), sometimes it's a rant (King, and sometimes me).

Since no games have been played, we had to dig deep. Well, okay, I dug deep. King is trying to catch a flight, so in classic King fashion basically said "fuck it, you haven't played, so I'm not motivated." Given that, I'll do my best to channel the high master of Big 12 ridicule.

Here we go...



2. TCU, because Patterson doesn't like Briles.

3. OU, because Lincoln Riley is magic.

4. WVU, because ain't no way Dana will lose to the rest of these chumps.

5. KState, because he is the Purple Wizard.

6. UT, because, well, there's no way they can be worse than the rest, right?

7. Tech, because they are marginally better than the rest.

8. Iowa St, because you can't be lower than this with a new stadium.

9. Kansas, because even though they are bad at football, I hate Baylor more.

10. Baylor, because I'm dreaming...allow me to indulge my sports hate for at least a moment...

King (his rankings, comments courtesy of yours truly)

1: TCU...Why do we have to have two purple teams? I've looked at many pictures of horned lizards and none of them are purple. Of course neither are Wildcats, but they were here first...and nothing sounds better than the "Purple Wizard."

2: OSU...Like Whetsell said, Gundy is happy. Who knows if that means shit for the football team.

3: OU...Maybe the Daily Oklahoman was trying to make Lincoln Riley look like Darth Maul. He was tough, but he still got his ass cut in half.

4: BU...Fuck Baylor.

What? I need to say something else here?

5: KSU...Might not be the best purple in the conference, but at least most of the student body can pass a random drug test.

6: UT...Fiery dumpsters and bad QB's.

7: WVU...Finding new and creative ways to break headsets.

8: Tech...If this was a race to the clinic for a shot of penicillin, obvious winners.

9: KU...New coach, new hope, same fucking awful football team.

10: ISU...You build more seats so more people can pay money to watch shitty football? Big balls. HUGE balls.