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Just like last week, there are two Power 5 opponents. Thank goodness Texas isn't playing either of them.

King and I might be figuring this thing out.

He has promised to deliver his written wit in addition to our video "stuff," so you get two slightly different versions of us ragging on the rest of the Big 12.

Oh, and King is not on the Yurcich bandwagon, but not for lack of trying.

Here are the written picks, exactly as he sent them...enjoy!

Kansas State at UTSA: Snyder may be a wizard, but even Harry fucking Potter would have avoided this game. Traveling to UTSA for one of their biggest home games ever? Also he needs that hot red head wizard to cook up some ACL healing spells and cast that shit on his defense. Roadrunners win (I don't think I've ever typed that) 31-27.

UTEP at Texas Tech: Two white trash fanbases meet for Disorder on the Border II. Raiders win 11-2.

Liberty at West Virginia: ....$%^^&%^$%%%#@@@@@@!!!!!^^^^^^*************************

Iowa at Iowa State: Two teams that fight hard to lose, but only one of them can. Also the Cy-Hawk trophy is absurd. Somehow this game ends in a tie when everyone just leaves, 11-11.

Stephen F Austin at Texas Christian: Lumberjacks and frogs, there's a joke there somewhere, but I'm too lazy to find the bastard. Also TCU rolls, 55-19.

Memphis at Kansas: I guess I owe the Cyclones an apology, I assumed they would be worse than the Jayhawks this year. My mistake, enjoy your $9 tickets and reclines kansas fans, have nice basketball dreams. Memphis win 32-7.

Lamar at Baylor: Shawn Oakman returns, the referees are worried about running out of flags. Baylor 80-19.

Rice at Texas: Wickline ain't calling plays anymore. Hell I don't know if anyone is, dumpster fire is too kind to describe the Horn program right now. Folks at the methadone clinic have a brighter outlook on life than Tejas fans right now, may God have mercy (do Texas fans have souls? I doubt it.) Rice wins, 21-20.

Central Arkansas at Oklahoma State: Remember the first half of the bowl game? That was beautiful. Remember the first half of last weeks game? That was a dog turd. Pokes better win big, 55-10.

Oklahoma at Tennessee: Somehow both of these schools have a dog for a mascot thing. Vols survive and ruin a season (I hope) 31-30.