This is actually an intriguing slate of games for the Big 12, despite West Virginia and Baylor getting byes (see what I did there?).
Let's see if King is intrigued...
Tulsa @ OU...the horse/dog beast faces a hurricane. A golden one at that. Too bad it only qualifies as a stiff breeze, which won't get it done, even against a team that barely beat a shitty Tennessee squad. OU 57-17
La Tech @ KState...if Robert hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have known this game was being played. I'm really wishing he hadn't said anything. This game isn't on TV for a reason. KState 30-14
SMU @ TCU...The Frogs are about to show Baylor what SMU looks like when you field a defense. TCU 62-7
Iowa State @ Toledo...Toledo beat Arkansas, so that makes them good right? Or maybe Arkansas isn't much better than the Cyclones? Yea, nobody other than Kansas is that bad. Toledo 42-21
Cal @ Texas...Bears are omnivorous, and they kill moose. Moose are tough, wild animals. Bevo is a soft, domesticated bovine, much like UT's football program right now. Bevo is toast... Cal 40-17
Tech @ Arkansas...Razobacks are wild hogs, and you need a real gun to kill them. Yosemite Sam's fake versions will get him gored. Unfortunately for the hog, that contact will expose him to a variety of STD's which his system is not prepared to fight. Tech 48-35
UTSA @ OSU...Roadrunners come to town hoping OSU does it's best impression of Wile E Coyote. The offense might cooperate. Seriously, if the offensive line gets their shit together, this is a big blowout even if Yurcich calls another shit game. If the offensive line dicks around like they have the first two games, then I'll be knee deep in Jameson by halftime. I'm betting on the latter. OSU 32-10
Wait...I don't have to talk about Kansas this week?
There is a God.....