Kansas @ Rutgers and Maryland @ West Virginia? What the hell are we supposed to do with that????
Well, we present to you a product made possible by shitty games and cold beer. Enjoy.
For those of you that don't get enough of that special hate only King can share, here's you weekly fix...
Kansas at Rutgers: These two schools have a combined 250 plus years playing football, hell Rutgers played in the first ever football game against New Jersey. I'm guessing it's like reverse cat years and porn stars. Hang with me for a second. Remember Jenna Jameson? Yeah she used to be super hot, but look at her now, it's just horrible. That's what Kansas football has become, a washed up porn star. Sure there were some highlights and good times, but now they're just used up and shitting pancakes. Rutgers win 35-13.
Maryland at West Virginia: Stop trying to fake a rivalry and play Pitt you bastards. I'm guessing they'll win and torch some couches, 45-19.
Rice at Baylor: 1200 empty seats? Help me Gary Patterson, you're my only hope. Also that was solid disco 24K gold. Baylor wins 63-38.
Oklahoma State at Texas: Texas is back, ya Heard? Not really. Texas is better, but I already talked about that, what I want to talk about now is how much I hate boat shoes and croakies. I get that is the asshole fratboy uniform, but let's think about this for a second. You're trying to copy schools like Harvard, but guess whatTHEY'RE 15 MINUTES FROM THE OCEAN!!! THEY'RE HEADED TO THE YACHT TO HEAD TO THE DARK CONTINENT WHILE ON SABBATICAL FROM UNIVERSITY. The closest thing Horn fans have is a party barge on the San Marcos. Pokes win 34-17.
Texas Christian at Texas Tech: Hey, hey, Raider fans, hey, 82 POINTS!!!!!!!!!! Also Arkansas sucks and Bielema is a prick, but none of that helps you Saturday. Frogs win 51-50. Oh, and PS...beat the Bears next week.
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