Time for some more hard-hitting journalism this weekend. In honor of the Preakness, and all the unique names that come with horse racing, we thought it would be fun to give every Big 12 football team one of those unique names.
Oklahoma State Cowboys: Gundy's Mullet
This is almost too obvious, this would actually be a fantastic horse name. A horse's mane is technically its own Arkansas Waterfall, right? The head ball coach's glorious hairdo is as recognizable as the bright orange and the multiple uniform combinations when it comes to Cowboy football. It is part of him and the program now.
Oklahoma Sooners: Glory Days
Much like Yankees fans, or the Dallas Cowboys of the pro level, OU fans love bringing up the past as if it is the present. OU fans in general are the guy that wears his high school letter jacket to his Geology lecture in college (if you're in high school and reading this, DO NOT DO IT), trying to relive their glory days and go on and on about how great they were years ago.
Texas Longhorns: Next Year
Every year Longhorn fans sound much like the ESPN call after the victory over Notre Dame. "TEXAS IS BACK, FOLKS." But don't let that distract you from the fact that Texas lost to Kansas in football. With a new regime in, we'll more than likely hear the same hype this year...but Twitter remains undefeated and the KU loss will loom forever.
Texas Tech Red Raiders: Discount Gundy
The Red Raiders have their own version of Mike Gundy in Kliff Kingsbury. He's a quarterback alumnus of the school turned head coach, great offensive mind, and a handsome guy with great hair. However, the results Kingsbury has gotten in Lubbock pale in comparison to the results Gundy has gotten in Stillwater as a head coach.
Baylor Bears: Sic-ening
What has gone on with the Baylor football program in recent years is indefensible. I hope Coach Ruhle can turn it around and turn the culture into something positive. But for now, there's not a lot to say.
TCU Horned Frogs: Just Another Private Texas School
TCU is basically Baylor, just without allegations that are death penalty worthy. They are another private school in Texas, they have a solid football program. They are competitive, but somewhat of a wannabe powerhouse program. The main difference, the Horned Frogs wear purple.
Iowa State Cyclones: Really Trying
When you lose to an FCS team three out of the last four years, it's hard to be taken seriously as a football program. For some reason, they always give a couple Big 12 teams a run for their money every year. So we'll give them a participation trophy for now, because they try really hard every year and deserve something.
West Virginia Mountaineers: Way Out There
There is not a lot to do in Morgantown, West Virginia, except burn couches apparently. Why this is a thing, I'll never know. But, it's unique to Mountaineer Nation. Morgantown is halfway across the country for goodness’ sake. Not only physically is Morgantown way out there, West Virginia’s fans are also kinda out there mentally. Like, the kind of out there that if you see them on the street, you cross the street so you don’t have deal with them.
Kansas State Wildcats: Two Star
The Wildcats are filled with low rated recruits, walk-ons, and players that grind through the season. Though the caliber of players isn't thought of to be that great, the Fighting Bill Synders are one of the best teams in the conference every year.
Kansas Jayhawks: Basketball School
Even though the win against Texas was amazing and gave the internet ammunition for years to come, Kansas football is still terrible. Whenever Kansas football is mentioned, fans go "yeah but wait until basketball season." So until the program turns around (if it ever does), Jayhawk fans just wait to cheer on their school until the middle of November in Allen Fieldhouse.