Recently, I finished NBC’s hit show “The Office” for the fourth time. With the show on my brain and college football in the middle of the offseason, I figured now would be as good a time as any to compare everyone’s favorite Big 12 teams to a character from the American version of the hit NBC show.
I reached out to the big guns to help out with this project, so I’d like to thank Tyler Segraves, also known as @OSUfreak82 on Twitter, and former Cowboy receiver Justin Southwell, @JustinSouthwell on Twitter, for bringing their expertise of “The Office” to these comparisons.
*Quick editor’s note: If you are viewing this through Apple News or Google AMP, switch to the full version of the article with all the embeds. Trust me, it’s worth it.
Without further ado, here we go.
Oklahoma State Cowboys - Dwight Schrute
How would I describe Oklahoma State? Three words: hard-working, alpha male, jackhammer… merciless... insatiable.
If there is an Assistant to the Regional Manager in the Big 12 Conference, unfortunately, it’s Oklahoma State. Much like Dwight, Oklahoma State works hard and puts up great numbers. Oklahoma State will walk across hot coals if it means being on top, but OU (Michael Scott) is there to deny the Pokes.
In 2011, the Cowboys held the top spot for a brief period of time. Someone should have told them that guns aren’t allowed in the office.
There is hope, though. Dwight ends up as the regional manager in the end.
Oklahoma Sooners - Michael Scott
Michael loves to remind everyone that he is in charge and has been for many years. The thing is, many people don’t respect him because, let’s be honest, he doesn’t always make the best decisions. Even when everyone in the office is telling him it’s the wrong choice, he is dead set on doing what he wants because it will help him out the most.
No one in their right mind can deny the success that OU has had as of late, but let’s just say there has been plenty of less-than-stellar decisions that were made to ensure that success.
TCU Horned Frogs - Darryl Philbin
TCU started from the bottom - outside of a Power-5 conference, just like Darryl started in the warehouse. They’ve made it upstairs into an office (Big 12), but never captured that manager position (Big 12 title). However, everyone respects Darryl. While TCU hasn’t ever won a title, they are always a team to respect. It seems they are always just a couple steps away from being kings of the Big 12 year after year.
Baylor Bears - Toby Flenderson
Baylor is the team you want to leave behind on beach day. You want to kick them out of every meeting. You hate the fact that you are even associated with them. There’s just something annoying about them. Maybe it’s because RG3 won a Heisman in 2011 after Oklahoma State held the Bears to just 3 points through three quarters before calling off the dogs. Maybe it’s because Baylor won a conference championship in 2013 after losing 49-17 to the Cowboys.
Texas Tech Red Raiders - Kelly Kapoor
In my humble opinion, I think Kelly is one of the most annoying characters on the show. I’m not saying I don’t like Mindy Kahling, I just don’t like her character. Kelly is always talking about herself, has to be the center of attention and can’t be left out of the loop. Texas Tech is Kelly, not only because the team and staff think they are the best in the country, despite the lack of defense, but because of the Red Raiders’ fans. When was the last time you heard someone say this? “Those Texas Tech fans were delightful. We should hang with them more.” I wish I could send Texas Tech to the annex to go annoy Toby. Guns Up, Kelly.
Texas Longhorns - Ryan Howard
Much like Ryan always thought the office and Dunder Mifflin as a whole was his, the Longhorns are always thinking the Big 12 is theirs, even though they haven’t been on top of the division since Colt McCoy led them to the division title in 2009.
The whole “TEXAS IS BACK FOLKS” thing is equivalent to when Ryan was made corporate manager before his fall from glory back to his temp status — kinda like when Texas thought they were on top of the world for beating Notre Dame (who went 4-8), then quickly fell back to earth after losing to Kansas, giving the Jayhawks their first conference win since 2014.
Dunder Mifflin Infinity is essentially the Longhorn Network.
Ryan started the fire!
Iowa State Cyclones - Jan Levinson
The cast was always on pins and needles when Jan came around, because you never knew what she was going to do. Is she just going to check everything out and leave? Or is she coming hell-bent on destruction? Is she going to grab your Dundie and throw it at your $200 plasma-screen TV?
Similarly, everyone gets a little uneasy when Iowa State comes around. You’re never sure which version of the Cyclones are going to show up. Are they going to hang 66 points on Tech while holding one of the best offenses in the nation to 10 points? Or are they going to play their rivalry game against the Hawkeyes and get outscored 73-20 over the previous two years?
West Virginia Mountaineers - Creed Bratton
There was always something sketchy about Creed. He was odd, goofy and made you hope you wouldn’t run into him in an alley somewhere.
I could totally see Creed being a Mountaineer fan. He has just the stereotypical qualities people associate with West Virginia.
Also like Creed, WVU is way out there. And no one really knows how they got here.
Kansas State Wildcats - Jim Halpert
Jim is notorious for doing *just* enough to stay afloat at Dunder Mifflin. He rarely goes above and beyond, so people don’t expect him to do a ton of stuff regularly. Kansas State doesn’t want its fans to demand a ton from the team every season, so the team has stayed under 10 wins every season since 2012.
Jim is also notorious for pulling pranks on the office. While people initially get upset, in the end, no one can stay mad at Jim. Same at K-State. Are you trying to tell me that you can stay mad at Bill Snyder? I didn’t think so…
Kansas Jayhawks - Kevin Malone
Kevin is the bumbling, lovable idiot at Dunder Mifflin - similar to the Kansas football program.
No matter how hard the Jayhawks try, they can’t seem to do anything right and they embarrass themselves all the time.
However, every once in awhile, the stars align and Kansas football does something that will live forever.
Also, Kevin has a talent for basketball, and I guess you could say Kansas has a decent basketball team.